Salam... before starting with 30 days Blogging Challenge (tajuk je...memang bukan 30 days pun..maybe 30 months ;p).. I would like to blog about the hottest issue in town since last week. This is pre-consequented from the article entitled "Alasan Suami Curang" which konon2 isterinya bernama Mah tu. Entah betul atau rekaan that article. But, the good effect is, so many views have been pointed out regarding faithful, aloofness to partner, the exact roles of husband and wife,etc. It's a good thing actually so that indirectly, it gives knowledge to newly weds or for those who are about to get married. But of course, the article also has made some wives become confused about their roles in marriage. Too bad. Some wives feel so bad about their selves. They feel unpretty and blaming themselves for not taking care of themselves because they were too occupied in ensuring their husbands are super satisfy with: their service, kids, financial, etc.!
Oh my...how come women become so weak easily just by reading an article?
Ok..this is what I have to say regarding the issue:
For me, yes, it is our responsibility (the wives) to take care of our own selves. Beautiful is very subjective. I have found a couple who are very chubby both, but I am sure the husband is very happy with his wife because his wife is very good at cooking and raising their kids. It is shown through their eyes and faces. We can tell. Even though the wife is chubby, but she knows how to look good or presentable. That matters the most for me. You don't have to be super slim and bootilicious to make your hubby happy. You just need to be pretty in your own way. If you look like a Miss World but that means nothing if you do not know how to smile to people, to your husband's friends or family, for instance. What else for your own hubby. You just need to be.... charming to your hubby.
It is an Allah swt's gift if you are a natural looker. You just need to smile and it will make your hubby's day. If you can wake up every day and looking like this:
then...you do not have to continue reading ..lolz
But, if you don't have that gift (like myself), we really need to have a lil of extra effort. This is what I practise (as in my case):
-My hair is super 'kembang' or wavy, naturally. So, it takes time for me to manage it within limited time (time to handle kids, house chores, etc).. so, solution is: I re-bonding / straightening my hair once a year or maybe every 8 months. It's not that I am showing off my hair to public but I want to look presentable without taking too much time on it. By doing this, I even don't have to comb my hair at times...uhhh life is so easy some times... Please be thankful for those who have beautiful hair! Don't just bun it on, unbun it, groove it darling!
- I do not have beautiful skin.. I still have those acne scars left on my face..The pimples are still coming to visit during that day! ;) . There's nothing much I can do when I am at home... make-up free.. unless frequently cleansing up my face, apply some facial cream... but, when going out, I'll try to put make-up on...my intention: I want my husband to feel comfortable with me...so that I will look more presentable without my pale face.. LISTEN: u really don't have to wear make up if your skin is flawless... just a lip ice will do! The worse fact is that.. my hubby has very flawless skin..kalah mak ni nyah.. so I have to look more jambu than him haha..the point is just make sure u look more beautiful than your hubby kihkih...Of course I don't care about other people's feeling but come on... we should know our hubby... they want to marry us with the same person they married few years back... You will know your hubby's taste better!
But, the points that I listed above are just assisting us in order to make our hubby feel 'comfortable' with us. This will be useless IF we are 'berhias' but not accordingly to Allah swt's rules. Example:
-Isu cukur / plug bulu kening- We know this is wrong as in hukum. But some of us give an excuse, it is ok to do it as long as the intention is to please our husband's eyes. My question: sejak bila suami darjatnya lebih tinggi dari Tuhan? Subhanallah... Tolong betulkan mindset tu.
This is the reason...why..sometimes you think that you have done everything for your husband, you even pray 5 times a day, fasting during Ramadhan and so on...but why you still have problems in marriage?
Wallahhualam.. I am nobody to say this..but this is obviously the reason. The intention is totally wrong. We are married because of HIM. Thus, for what ever purposes that we do in marriage, we must please Allah swt first... Find a way.. Trust that Allah's gift to you is the most beautiful gift. Do not act beyond His order.
I do admit... I was also one of 'those wives' but now Alhamdulillah...kuasa Allah swt Maha Besar. I am far than perfect. Of course. Maybe you are better than me. But I really believe in this. If you put Allah swt no 1, In Sya Allah... everything will go accordingly in your plan. Let us pray together.