30DBC: No3: Sesuatu yang menguatkan anda

Nampak tak betapa slow progress challenge ni. baru no 3..bukan Day 3 ok..Hmm..sesuatu yang menguatkan saya?

 pastilah tiada yang lain..paling utama Allah SWT dan nabi junjungan Muhammad S.A.W.. tiap kali rasa lemah..hanya kepada MU aku bersujud yaAllah..dah Al-Quran menjadi penenang..Alhamdulillah.. Dia Maha Mendengar =)

 Ini juga =)

Dan pastinya ini =)

Thank You 2014

Today is 31st December 2014. Oh hello and Assalamualaikum w.b.t 2015! I had a good year indeed of 2014. What about you?

So, my biggest highlight of 2014 ..hmmm..I would say in terms of financial...not to say I have lotsa money..owhh..that is totally wrong..jauh menyimpang...financial means...I managed to slot in some of my salary to a few saving plannings.. Alhamdulillah.. I was really bad in organizing my income..but last year I have promised to myself... to force myself to do this..Alhamdulillah Allah swt permudahkan..still..it's quite late I guess at this age..I have should start earlier.. so to my darling sisters out there..please..start saving since the first day you receive your salary. For the sake of our future. If u think u can't handle it on your own, then the best way is to make monthly deduction, be it the investment or any types of saving planning as long as you could not touch that money! Up to you!

And..don't forget your zakat pendapatan and so on, sedekah, and very important is to pay your debt. Of course, I still have my PTPTN and car loan's debt.

Alhamdulillah, I just love my workplace even though it is not as luxury as other places. But, the friends and the ilmu that I gain here is beyond my expectation.

Other than that, everything went normally, the family, the kids, health, friends, love.. Alhamdulillah. Praise to Allah swt.

So, my biggest resolution in 2015 ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

drum role please

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I want to be a better chef with lotsa finger licking good dishes... I want to cook more..less outside food for the sake of family..I want to increase my cooking skill...

ok ok one more resolution please...

since Mr Hubby is completing his masters insyaAllah by the end of 2015, my resolution is to start researching, reading and writing my proposal for PHD. I am planning to do it in a local uni. Hope I will have the rezeki to be the PHD candidate by the end of 2015 or early 2016.. Please pray for me folks..For now, let the hubsie concentrates on his masters' class and assignment and exams and let me focus on my 2 heroes and imams...

ok..that's all

p/s: another addition in the family is not a resolution but will be my wish for 2015.. if ada rezeki ;) InsyaAllah

Berhias seorang isteri

Salam... before starting with 30 days Blogging Challenge (tajuk je...memang bukan 30 days pun..maybe 30 months ;p).. I would like to blog about the hottest issue in town since last week. This is pre-consequented from the article entitled "Alasan Suami Curang" which konon2 isterinya bernama Mah tu. Entah betul atau rekaan that article. But, the good effect is, so many views have been pointed out regarding faithful, aloofness to partner, the exact roles of husband and wife,etc. It's a good thing actually so that indirectly, it gives knowledge to newly weds or for those who are about to get married. But of course, the article also has made some wives become confused about their roles in marriage. Too bad. Some wives feel so bad about their selves. They feel unpretty and blaming themselves for not taking care of themselves because they were too occupied in ensuring their husbands are super satisfy with: their service, kids, financial, etc.!

Oh my...how come women become so weak easily just by reading an article?

Ok..this is what I have to say regarding the issue:

For me, yes, it is our responsibility (the wives) to take care of our own selves. Beautiful is very subjective. I have found a couple who are very chubby both, but I am sure the husband is very happy with his wife because his wife is very good at cooking and raising their kids. It is shown through their eyes and faces. We can tell. Even though the wife is chubby, but she knows how to look good or presentable. That matters the most for me. You don't have to be super slim and bootilicious to make your hubby happy. You just need to be pretty in your own way. If you look like a Miss World but that means nothing if you do not know how to smile to people, to your husband's friends or family, for instance. What else for your own hubby. You just need to be.... charming to your hubby.

It is an Allah swt's gift if you are a natural looker. You just need to smile and it will make your hubby's day. If you can wake up every day and looking like this:

then...you do not have to continue reading ..lolz

But, if you don't have that gift (like myself), we really need to have a lil of extra effort. This is what I practise (as in my case):

-My hair is super 'kembang' or wavy, naturally. So, it takes time for me to manage it within limited time (time to handle kids, house chores, etc).. so, solution is: I re-bonding / straightening my hair once a year or maybe every 8 months. It's not that I am showing off my hair to public but I want to look presentable without taking too much time on it. By doing this, I even don't have to comb my hair at times...uhhh life is so easy some times... Please be thankful for those who have beautiful hair! Don't just bun it on, unbun it, groove it darling!

- I do not have beautiful skin.. I still have those acne scars left on my face..The pimples are still coming to visit during that day! ;) . There's nothing much I can do when I am at home... make-up free.. unless frequently cleansing up my face, apply some facial cream... but, when going out, I'll try to put make-up on...my intention: I want my husband to feel comfortable with me...so that I will look more presentable without my pale face.. LISTEN: u really don't have to wear make up if your skin is flawless... just a lip ice will do! The worse fact is that.. my hubby has very flawless skin..kalah mak ni nyah.. so I have to look more jambu than him haha..the point is just make sure u look more beautiful than your hubby kihkih...Of course I don't care about other people's feeling but come on... we should know our hubby... they want to marry us with the same person they married few years back... You will know your hubby's taste better! 

But, the points that I listed above are just assisting us in order to make our hubby feel 'comfortable' with us. This will be useless IF we are 'berhias' but not accordingly to Allah swt's rules. Example:

-Isu cukur / plug bulu kening- We know this is wrong as in hukum. But some of us give an excuse, it is ok to do it as long as the intention is to please our husband's eyes. My question: sejak bila suami darjatnya lebih tinggi dari Tuhan? Subhanallah... Tolong betulkan mindset tu.

This is the reason...why..sometimes you think that you have done everything for your husband, you even pray 5 times a day, fasting during Ramadhan and so on...but why you still have problems in marriage?

Wallahhualam.. I am nobody to say this..but this is obviously the reason. The intention is totally wrong. We are married because of HIM. Thus, for what ever purposes that we do in marriage, we must please Allah swt first... Find a way.. Trust that Allah's gift to you is the most beautiful gift. Do not act beyond His order.

I do admit... I was also one of 'those wives' but now Alhamdulillah...kuasa Allah swt Maha Besar. I am far than perfect. Of course. Maybe you are better than me. But I really believe in this. If you put Allah swt no 1, In Sya Allah... everything will go accordingly in your plan. Let us pray together.

Amalan harian Rasulullah SAW

Salam.. I just miss my Rasulullah SAW. I wanna practice all his routines so I will feel closer to him..InsyaAllah.. Ya rasul.. If only you are still here with us, the world would be so much peaceful and fills with love, politeness and taqwa. How lucky our brothers and sisters who used to be under your governance. Subhanallah :(

I got this from here

• Sesiapa yang berwuduk saat ingin tidur dan meminta supaya ALLAH berikan kebaikan dunia dan akhirat pasti akan di kabulkan – Tirmizi.
• Sunat tidur dalam keadaan berwuduk.
• Sesiapa yang berselawat tidak kiralah banyak mana hitungannya setiap hari akan dapat keberkatan dalam apa jua perkara dengan syarat ia berusaha mencari keredhaanNya.
• Sesiapa yang berselawat 41 kali sehari, insyaALLAH, akan dihindarkan daripada sifat tercela seperti hasad dengki, riak dsbnya dalam dirinya.
• Berselawat 33 kali sehari dapat menjernihkan hati, mudah memahami akan sesuatu ilmu yang diajarkan, di samping beroleh ketenangan fikiran.
• ALLAH akan hapuskan dosa-dosa kecil dengan kita mengamalkan berselawat sebanyak 11 kali tiap kali selesai menunaikan solat fardu.
• Sewaktu menghadapi hidangan, Nabi membiasakan diri dengan mengambil makanan yang terdekat, kemudian baru di ambil hidangan yang lainnya sebagai simbolik kesopanan.
• Amalkan membaca selawat sebanyak 1000 kali sehari, insyaALLAH akan di kurniakan kebijaksanaan
• pemikiran. Di samping itu berusahalah untuk menerokai pelbagai ilmu.
• Sesiapa yang berniat mandi(untuk solat jumaat) kemudian pakai pakaian terbaik & wangian lalu solat jumaat, dosanya akan diampun hingga jumaat berikutnya-Ahmad.
• Sesiapa yang mengamalkan berselawat 11 kali tiap hari, dengan izin ALLAH dirinya akan lebih dihargai oleh orang lain.
• Uthman bin Affan riwayatkan bahawa Nabi SAW apabila berwuduk, beliau membasahi
• janggutnya-Tirmizi
• Nabi tidak pernah mencela makanan. Jika baginda suka, beliau makan dan sebaliknya beliau tinggalkan-Bukhari. Apatah lagi jika makanan itu pemberian orang lain.
• Sahabat meriwayatkan:
• Aku lihat Nabi SAW makan dengan 3 jari(ibu jari telunjuk & tengah)- Muslim. Jarang sekali beliau makan dengan 4 @ 5 jari kecuali ada keperluan.
• Menurut Sayyid Ahmad dahlan, sesiapa berselawat walau sekali pada malam jumaat, saat mautnya kelak akan dipermudahkan ALLAH seperti yang dihadapi oleh para nabi.
• Setiap penyakit ada penawarnya. Bacalah selawat tujuh kali pada air dan minum. InsyaALLAH, perut yang sakit atau memulas akan sembuh.
• Perbaharui wuduk tiap kali bersolat krn padanya terdapat banyak fadhilat.
• Hadith: Sesiapa yang berwuduk dalam keadaan suci, ALLAH catatkan 10 kebaikan baginya-Abu Dawud.
• Sesiapa yang mengamalkan membaca selawat tiga kali setiap selepas
• solat lima waktu akan dihilangkan kebuntuan fikiran dalam menghadapi apa jua masalah.
• Nabi SAW sering menghadap ke kanan sedikit setelah solat berjemaah supaya makmum dapat melihat wajahnya. Sebaiknya imam berzikir dan doa seketika bersama makmum
• Allah akan hapuskan dosa-dosa kecil dengan kita mengamalkan beselawat sebanyak 11 kali tiap kali selesai menunaikan solat fardu.
• Nabi tak makan sambil bersandar-Bukhari.
• Ertinya, baginda makan dengan duduk condong sedikit ke hadapan bagi elakkan dirinya terlalu kenyang & mudahkan penghadaman .
• Menurut Syihab Ahmad, sesiapa berselawat tiga kali tiap selesai solat subuh, Maghrib dan isyak, ALLAH akan menghindarkannya drp sebarang bencana
• Nabi sering beristinsyaq air kedalam hidung dan menghembuskannya. Selain membersihkan,ia juga mengelakkan sebarang penyakit yang berkaitan dengan hidung
• Setelah bersolat Nabi memohon ampun ( astagfirullahalaziim) tiga kali-Muslim.
• Dalam riwayat yang lain, Nabi adakalanya beristighfar 75 kali sehari
• Sesiapa yang amalkan berselawat sebanyak 1000 kali tiap hari, ALLAH akan memeliharanya daripada sebarang ancaman musuh serta bahaya fitnah.
• Apabila Nabi tidur, ia dahulukan mengiring sebelah kanan – Bukhari. Dari segi kesihatan, cara berkenaan baik untuk jantung (yang berada di kiri badan) mengepam darah
• Amalan berselawat secara teratur setiap hari mampu membersihkan kekeruhan jiwa, dipermudahkan ALLAH segala urusan dan mendapat keampunan daripadaNYA
• Tika Nabi tidur, ia membaca surah Al-Ikhlas,Al-Falaq dan An-Naas lalu meniup telapak tangan serta menyapu keseluruh tubuh)mohon perlindunganNYA) – Bukhari
• Membaca selawat 10 kali pada setiap waktu pagi dan petang akan memperolehi keredhaan serta dijauhkan diri daripada mendapat kemurkaan ALLAH
• Wuduk dahulu jika ingin tidur sekalipun dalam keadaan junub. Nabi menyarankan, cukup dengan
• bersihkan kemaluan dan berwuduk tanpa perlu mandi wajib jika ingin tidur.
• Munurut As-Shawi, sesiapa yang membaca selawat secara rutin, akan terpelihara hatinya daripada gangguan serta tipudaya syaitan yang melalaikan .
• Silangkan kaki jika tidur di masjid.
• Hadith:Sahabat melihatNabi berbaring di masjid dgn satu kakinya atas kaki yang lain (kerana bimbang terdedah aurat) – Bukhari
• Sesiapa yang membaca selawat sebanyak tujuh kali selama tujuh Jumaat
• berturut-turut, ia bakal mendapat syafaat (pertolongan) daripada baginda SAW.
• Adakalanya Nabi SAW amat menyukai doa-doa yang ringkas(mudah) – Abu dawud. Baginda mementingkan kualiti doa itu sendiri dengan sedikit tetapi maknanya yang menyeluruh.
• Menurut Al-Hafiz Dimyati, sesiapa yang berhajat menemui Nabi SAW dalam mimpinya maka amalkan membaca selawat sebanyak 70 kali sehari
• Setelah bersolat Nabi SAW mohon ampun(astagfirullahalaziim) tiga kali – Muslim. Dalam riwayat yang lain, Nabi adakalanya beristighfar 75 kali sehari
• Nabi seorang yang berpsikologi dalam memberi nasihat.
• Nabi memilih waktu yang sesuai untuk menasihati sahabat supaya
• mereka tidak bosan (atau tersinggung) – bukhari
• Ada riwayat yang menyatakan bahawa amalan berselawat 80 kali tiap selepas solat asar pada hari jumaat, insyaALLAH akan dihapuskan dosa-dosa kecil seseorang.
• Menutup mulut dan rendahkan suara tika bersin. Hadith: Apabila Nabi bersin, beliau letakkan tangan atau pakaiannya dimulut (kerana dibimbangi terpercik) – Abu Dawud
• Jiwa yang gelisah dapat ditenangkan dengan zikir, termasuklah berselawat sekerap yang mungkin kerana ALLAH itu Maha Luas RahmatNya
• Sabda Nabi SAW: Barangsiapa yang berselawat kepadakusebanyak 100 kali pada hari jumaat, maka ia akan datang pada hari kiamat dengan keadaan bercahaya – Abu Naim
• Nabi tidak pernah menolak hadiah. Hadith: nabi selalu terima hadiah & amat menghargainya – Bukhari
• Sesiapa yang sering mengamalkan berselawat pada setiap hari, ALLAH akan bukakan pintu rahmat dan rezeki yang tidak disangka-sangka baginya
• Selalu memilih yang lebih mudah. Hadith: Mudahkan sesuatu & jangan kamu sukarkannya – Muttafaq Alaih
• Berdiri apabila melihat iringan jenazah.
• Hadith: Apabila kamu sekalian melihat jenazah( yang diusung), maka berdirilah (sbg tanda penghormatan) – Muttafaq Alaih
• Ulamak berpendapat, sesiapa yang amalkan selawat saban hari tak kira berapa hitungannya, InsyaALLAH dihindarkan daripada taun & wabak penyakit berbahaya yang lain
• Bersujud syukur jika dapat khabar gembira. Nabi sering melakukannya ketika beroleh khabar yang menyenangkan sebagai tanda syukur hamba terhadap ALLAH – Abu Dawud
• Membaca selawat 1000 kali selepas Solat Hajat dua rakaat mampu meenghilangkan keresahan, rasa dukacita serta dikabulkan ALLAH akan hajatnya
• Beri salam hingga tiga kali sahaja.Bahawasanya baginda memberi salam sebanyak 3 kali, apabila salamnya tak berjawab, beliau beredar.
• Menurut para ulamak, sesiapa yang inginkan saat kematiannya dalam kesudahan yang baik, maka berselawatlah sebanyak 10 kali setiap selesai solat Maghrib
• Melakukan /membantu isteri pekerjaan di rumah. Hadith: Bantuan terhadap isterimu itu adalah sedekah-Ad-Dailami
• Para ulamak berpendapat, ALLAH sempurnakan hajat yang baik dengan senantiasa berselawat 40 hingga 100 kali setiap hari, di ikuti dengan usaha yang berterusan.

Reminder

How I wish there is a list of reminders that keeps me sane everyday. Every single second. I mean..I always pray and hope that I will be discipline with my diet, my solat, my health, exercise, money..but I will end up by ignoring them all. Manusia mudah lupa. yes. When your life is ok...normal..happy..u will forget what you have promised with your self just few days before. Huh? How la...is there any gadget that is meant to remind people about their promises and resolutions? yes? no? tak kan la nak buat reminder kat phone pulak. Ok..if..there is such gadget exists.. here is the list of reminders I would to listen and notify every single second:

1. Solat awal, dengan khusyuk sekali

2. Cuci muka bersih2 sebelum solat

3. Kurangkan makan ( Lepas makan, mesti nak p beli benda lain plak, pastu b4 balik umah mesti drive thru a&w or mcd, apa nak jadi la..pastu balik umah makan lagi)

4. Banyakkan minum air masak

5. Minum susu everyday

6.Solat Isyak awal sbb selalu solat lambat sangat sbb tertido bile jaga budak2

7. Cuci pinggan b4 tido..sian mak ayang kita klau kita da tertido dulu

8. Layan budak2 smpai diorg nk tido...haihhhh selalu terido smbil jaga diorang

9. Jangan menjawab ngan husband ;)

10. Be a good wife

11. Eat more fruits

12. Call parents more often

13. Bangun awal sikit so that tak de la kelam kelibut pagi2 nak pegi kerja

14. Baca Quran

15. Solat sunat

16. Zikir

And there are so many more I guess.... 

p/s: I love u husband!

The reason

Last week, masa jumpa my girlfriends,Mun and Fya, Mun cakap 'tryla mintak kerja at my place..lots of benefits'.. then she explained all the benefits..mmg wow..she is a lecturer now in one of the private colleges in shah alam..in terms of salary, benefits..memang lebih sikit la from what I am having right now. Plus, she is teaching local students (I love teaching local students) while I am teaching international students. I am happy for her. Indeed, her life is more meaningful now. Tak sia2 die bersabar after resigning last year. 

Melihatkan kelebihan yang ada pada her institution compared to mine, I said to Fya.. 'yups, why not we give it a try. Let's send our CV'.. Fya is working with MIDA now in KL. So, I think Mun's place would be the best option as she is staying with her mum in Shah Alam. And she misses teaching so much.

But, now..I guess I just wanna go with the flow. I don't know why kenapa tak terasa sangat nak beralih tempat lagi. Tak de rasa nak hantar CV tempat lain. Beza gaji I dgn Mun pun rm 300. Hmm banyak ke sikit beza tu haha.. Tapi, bila fikir balik, I dah sangat selesa dengan the place that I am working right now. Walaupun ada kekurangan dari segi benefits dan students, but in terms of colleagues, working environment I sangat suka. And I don't think I will get this feeling anywhere else. Mana nak dapat tempat kerja yang separatekan lelaki dan perempuan in different floor. Sangat advantage kalau I ada rezeki dapat baby lagi nanti, boleh pump susu sesuka hati haha. My colleagues sangat baik. Dah lama I x mengumpat, cakap2 belakang, bergosip yg melampau2. But don't misinterpret my colleagues. They are still types yg hu ha hu ha jugak. But ade sedikit perbezaan la compared to my previous places. It's more Islamic. With this kind of surrounding yang kalau u solat lambat pun u rasa malu, this is definitely the best place for me to improve myself as a better Muslimah. Memangla semuanya bergantung pada diri sendiri. Tapi Allah swt dah tempatkan I kat tempat macam ni, apa lagi I nak? I pun tak tahu what will happen in future sbb my current workplace ni owner dia Pak arab, so I am really not sure where this uni is heading to in 5 years time at least. Apa yang boleh I buat, hanyalah berdoa semoga akan sentiasa dimurahkan rezeki. I mmg happy sangat kat sini. Wpun kami belum pindah to our own building (which donno when), n tak la secanggih other unis or colleges, but what matters most is tak de stress, all the tasks given to me are doable (thanks to my 8 years of teaching experience). I rasa sangat relax plak sbb dah biasa kerja teruk masa dekat previous uni dulu. Adala cabaran2 lain macam susah nak communicate dgn pak arab yang their english not that good and international students with macam2 ragam but still, being me, it is nothing to compare with the tasks that I used to do in my previous uni. Yang paling best, my working attire yang sangat sopan. At least I da x pakai tudung singkat2, baju ketat, jarang macam dulu lagi as sopan is the dress code. Most of female colleagues are comfortable wearing abaya or jubah. Lagi bets, pukul 5.30 semua dah get ready nak balik rumah..x de kerja lebih masa macam uni dulu. Terus balik and layan anak2 plak kat rumah.

I dah masuk 30. Kita kerja bukan untuk dunia semata. Untuk kumpul point kat akhirat jugak. So, I yakin tempat ni adalah yang terbaik. Fasal gaji, mmg tak kan pernah cukup. Tapi kalau kita bersyukur insyaAllah Allah swt akan berikan rezeki dalam bentuk yg lain. But at least, I bersyukur sbb gaji I mmg gaji master and lebih banyak from my previous place cuma maybe la tak sebanyak gaji lecturer lain di IPTA yg ade master atau di private uni yg gah mcm di Segi or Taylors. I boleh bagi my MIL yg jaga my kids an amount of money (which pada mulanya she refused to accept sbb die kata macam banyak I bagi) tapi for me itu pun sbnrnya tak cukup kalau nak dikirakan penat lelah my MIL jaga my kids. I boleh bayar kereta, boleh bagi my parent duit more than I gave them when I worked at my previous uni. Just to name a few la...and I skrg sempat saving lagi which dulu I mmg x sempat pun...so Alhamdulillah...gaji I kira macam lebih dari cukup. Cuma antara nak spend ke tak..and I choose to save my money. 

Dan Alhamdulillah, mungkin rezeki kami sekeluarga, my hubby dapat sambung master kat UPM part time and baru saja dinaikkan pangkat from engineer to senior engineer. So gaji die naik....Alhamdulillah..wpun duduk area Selangor ni high maintenance tp Alhamdulillah cukup semuanya wpun x de la mewah...janji hati senang kan...See... Allah swt tetap akan bagi rezeki dlm bentuk yang lain. Rezeki Allah ni luas. Apa lagi yang sy nak? .Alhamdulillah. I just couldn't ask for more.  Sy bersyukur dan akan sentiasa berdoa dimurahkan rezeki.. InsyaAllah

Thus, buat masa ni, I am happy with my current worklife walaupun sederhana tapi sangat happy. Mungkin in future kalau I dah terlalu rindu sangat nak ajar budak locals, I will send my CV ;)

3 series resolution

At the age of 30, it is about time for me to have a deeper thought on health issue. Alhamdulillah, so far, I am blessed Allah SWT has granted me with a good health. Alhamdulillah. Maybe that's why I take everything that goes with health care for granted. I do not really watch my food, diet, exercise, skin, inner beauty and on things those are happening inside me. Alhamdulillah..my BP is ok, sugar level is ok. Just that my cholestrol level is at borderline level. I really need to look back at my food intake. 

Hmm.. I don't really eat fruits. I love pastries. cakes. But I don't really like chocolates. I love ice-creams at times. But i really crazy about pastries / anything with cheese. I can spend a lot in a bakery shop. Furthermore, I don't take supplements. I am not used to consuming vitamins. Collagen? Inner shine? Mineral coffee? huh.. i just have heard about them but I do not consume those. Of course I will if I have all the money in the world. My point is all of these were not my priority. I have spent more on pastries, foods, clothes, shoes, shawls. And guess what, I don't apply sunscreen lotion when I go out. And, worse case, I don't apply toner after cleaning my face. I love moisturizer and facial cream, but all I need at this age is a sunscreen before going out and exposing my skin to the Ultra Violet Rays! ;p

What else, yes. I have postponed my pap smear appointment till now? what the? yes.. please.. i am joining you now to become very angry with myself! I am so ignorance about this issue. HPV vaccine? yes... it just passes my mind and when? when? My calcium level? What did I do. I have problems with my teeth. And I suffered a bad ache during my pregnancy. But I didn't take any efforts yet to do something about it. Anlene? helloooo...

So now, being 30, I really it's not too late for me to change everything for my very own sake. I know it is difficult to be highly discipline. And this means I have to sacrifice a lil bit on my spending. It's about time to change. No more too many make up items. Hello to a better skin care. Not too much spending on long nice skirts. Welcome collagen drinks. Less pastries please. And more on fruits and healthy food.

So, I am planning and aiming to complete these a-must-do list for 2014:

1. Pap smear- plan in June 2014

2. HPV Vaccine- plain in May 2015

3. Dentistry check-up- every 3 months

ohhh...Ya Allah..I am so sorry for neglecting my actual role here. I did not appreciate the good health that you have given to me. But please give me a chance to prove that I am so grateful and feel so blessed with the health condition that I own right now. Aminnn

A very inspiring convert story

Salam..I randomly found this...hope we could improve to become a better Muslim..

Many things happened at the same time. I left Christianity when I was 10 years old, since I couldn't find anything that made any sense, especially the Trinity thing.

I was kinda lost since then, until I was almost 14 years old. I started to think "What am I doing here?" and "I'm so worried about my marks, about if I'll get a job or not, about my life in general, but I feel like I'm empty inside. There has to be something, some goal to achieve" since I thought about death many times and what was after it, I thought "It can't just be OVER. You're gone and that's it? Your life has no goal, you just live and become dust?".

During my summer vacation, when I was still 14, almost 15, I started talking to foreign people. And the person talking about Islam was from Egypt. I wasn't paying attention at first, I was like "yeah yeah, OK". And when I entered school again, I was having philosophy lessons and at the end of school, one of the lessons was about religion. I was turning the pages of my philosophy book one day (the pages my teacher didn't talk about) during a lesson. And a veiled woman just caught my eye. She was wearing niqaab, the full veil. I just got interested and I started having many questions about Islam. I still had a negative attitude towards it at first because of the veil itself, it seemed oppressive (after all, that's how most of the people in the West are "programmed" to think). I started making questions to that person I knew, but I found out that I wasn't getting all the answers I wanted, since that person wasn't practicing Islam much. I was afraid to search by myself because I was only finding negative things about Islam all the time. So, another person, this one from Morocco, gave me a link www.islamqa.com.

I guided myself through that link for a year or so, learning about Islam. I could get all of my answers, alhamdulilah. So, I converted in my heart, by little information.

Well, the one who first knew I had converted was my sister since I shared the bedroom with her. She kept it a secret and would ask me questions but never hurt me or said bad things.

My dad, an atheist (he believes God is energy, and I'm not saying this to make him feel bad, I'm just stating what he told me he believes in) discovered I was a Muslim by accident when I was 16. He actually was the main test I had after becoming a Muslim. He found out I was a Muslim when one day he came into my room without knocking and I was practicing how to pray. He saw me doing rukoo' and having a scarf on my head. His reaction was anger. I never had seen my dad so angry before. After that, he took my laptop (my main source of information about Islam), he forbid me to pray (I would pray hidden in my closet, which is a normal wooden closet, and I would bring bowls with water to my room to make wudo' for Fajr), tried to force me to eat pork (although I would give it to the dog we had in the house and pretend it was me who ate it, hehe), he forbid me to fast. That actually didn't work at all because I could easily go to the bathroom and spit it all out. So, he would make me sit at the dinning table while I was fasting and put my favorite food in front of me and eat it to the last grain, trying to make me give up on fasting. He would humiliate me in front of guests, insult me in front of them and when we would go out he would insult me in front of everyone to make me feel ashamed. So, after that, my dad managed to get me into psychologists over and over again (he put me in a bio-psychotherapist and the other appointments I had with psychologists, I didn't attend since I refused), my mom didn't have a say in it, she had to actually make appointments for me in the psychologists. My grandma, a kind of conservative catholic christian (which sometimes is not that conservative), would tell my dad to put me into psychologists and to other mental related doctors. After I've gone through several biopsychotherapy sessions, I decided to wear hijab at 17. I asked help to an Egyptian family to send me some Islamic clothing and they were actually helping me to stay strong through all of this, alhamdulilah.

So, when I started wearing hijab, my dad would threaten me day and night. He would come to my bedroom insulting Allah (subhan wa Ta'ala) and His Prophet (salAllahu 'alayhi wa salam). He would threaten me saying he would take off my hijab himself when I was in the street. The threats became so much that I was forced to step out of my door without hijab and then put it on when hiding on the stairs before going to school.

At highschool: I was usually mocked, often stared at, often mistakenly called a Jehova's Witness or Jew (this can show the ignorance in the Portuguese society regarding Islam, among other things, lol), often had silly questions from both students and teachers. Some teachers were genuinely interested and were just confused, other teachers were just brainwashed by the news and one old teacher even didn't know the difference between Shi'a and Sunni and mixed up everything thinking I agreed with mut'ah (temporary marriage) and he would actually refuse to listen to any of my answers (what can we do? Some people just prefer to remain dumb). But I never had really big threats outside of my home. My biggest threat was really my family, not even a skinhead or nazi waiting for me outside. (P.S.: I did start having bad marks at school, not because of the ignorance of questions I had outside my house and the mockery, but because of the tension I felt while in my own house. Of course a change of belief is better handled when the family doesn't react so bad. What I went through outside was little in size compared with what I would hear from my family. The words of people that you don't know, don't hurt as much as the word of people you always knew).

After some months of wearing hijab, my dad and my grandma saw I wasn't giving up. What did they do about it? They planned to send me to a hospital for mentally-ill people. Why didn't it work out? Let's say I woke up at 2am to pray Qyiam al-Layl and I heard my parents talking about this plan. I went panic and contacted that Egyptian family who was helping me so much. I asked them for a last favor: to help me go to Egypt. My family's plan of sending me to a mentally-ill people hospital was my ticket to hijrah (migration, in this case for the sake of Allah). When I became 18, I took care of the ticket, the passport, etc (with the help of a friend that was at that time searching about Islam and she converted some time after I came to Egypt, alhamdulilah).

On the day to say good bye, I pretended I was going to my first day of school, but I headed to a taxi, past by a christian girl I trusted to pick up my bag that I had left in her safety, and headed to the airport. I was going with my school bag, another bag with clothes, my laptop and a translation of the Qur'an in my hand. On the way to the airport I was sending messages to the ones that knew I was going to Egypt, saying to keep secret until I told them to spread the news in school and other places.

As I finally arrived to the airport, my heart just started beating so fast, I had thoughts of going back and thoughts of getting in the plane. I was scared but I just said "Allah, please help me", took a deep breath and got inside. My travel wasn't easy, I knew what I was leaving behind: all my family, my belongings, my life. All of this to trust Allah in all I didn't know would happen to me. I had a big step in the dark. I never knew the Egyptian family I had contact with, I just met them through the internet. I thought to myself I maybe needed a hospital. But still continued, something or Someone made me feel everything would be alright, so, I trusted Allah's plan. My travel had one stop in Istanbul. I then decided to call my mom... My mom had a big shock, as I knew it would happen, and someone in her work was trying to make me feel even more guilty saying my mom would go to the hospital (she didn't, alhamdulilah). I told her everything would be ok and for her not to worry and trust me in this. I had to go. It was time for my plane. I headed almost losing my plane swallowing my tears for people not to notice something was wrong. I went in the plane and as its lights were off, I saw the lights of Istanbul and tears were running on my face, tears of confusion, fear and guilt. I talked to Allah in my mind. I asked "Am I doing the right thing? Please tell me". As the lights inside the plane came back, I opened my Qur'an translation in a random page and there was my answer... subhanAllah, the first verses I had read were when Allah told Prophet Moosa ('alayhi salam) not to fear and to go, trusting Allah, to face the sorcerers of Pharaoh. That was my answer and immediately my heart felt at ease and I could feel peace surrounding me.

Claudia sofia simoes

Taken from http://prepareforthehour.blogspot.com/p/my-story.html - http://prepareforthehour.blogspot.com/p/my-story.html

One of Allah's best gifts to me

Assalamualaikum.. selalu kalau kahwin, ade yang akan bercerita fasal mertua masing-masing, kan. Ada yang memang ngam, close, rapat macam mak sendiri and ada jugak yang memang tak boleh ngam, ada je tak kena, kan?Ada yang menatnu hantu dan ada jugak mertua yang lebih sudu dari kuah..asyik nak kena dengar cakap dia je..macam-macam..tapi..

Alhamdulillah, I am blessed..dikurniakan keluarga mertua, adik beradik ipar yang sangat baik. Most of my acquaintances know that my kids are being taken care by my mother in law or I call her 'mak'. Not at her house, but at my house. Yes, I don't have to wake up that early every morning to send my kids to her house (30 minutes duration), my MIL and my FIL (ayah) come to our house every weekdays or working days. In fact, if my sister in law or brother in law is on study leave, they will also stay at our house. My parents in law will come to our house on Mondays' morning and go back to their house on Friday's night. Every week. Despite the fact that my FIL is working on his 'kebun sayur' at Sijangkang area (which is closer from our house compared to their house), I think they are really the best in-laws that one could ask for.

I used to send Fahri to mak's house when we only have Fahri in our life. Then, when Naeem arrived into this world, it becomes more challenging for me to commute from my house to mak's house which takes more than 30 minutes every morning. Sometimes, both kids would just not behave in their car seat. And it is dangerous because at times, you could not focus on your driving. U olls mommies or daddies out there mesti tau apa yang i rasa ni kan..especially yg ada more than one toddlers inside the car. Moreover, when I worked with msu, I used to have meeting which sometimes ended at 8-9 pm! And as usual, my engineer husband is hardly to tell his time-off at his working place. So, when Naeem was around 2 to 5 months, our routine was- I will send my kids to mak's house every morning, then I return home and wait for husband to come home. This is because I don't feel safe to fetch my kids alone. It is easier on the morning because I slowly take my kids to my car when they were still sleeping and usually they will not wake up till I reach mak's house. Another problem is that- fahri, when we moved him from his car seat to the house (when I reach emak's house), then when he open his eyes, he will cry and throwing tantrum. It happened almost every day. Also, talking about waiting my hubby to get back from work, let say he reached our house at 8 pm..Then, we head to mak's house and the journey will take around 30 minutes or more..let say we reach mak's house around 9 pm..then we will have our dinner at mak's house..then usually my hubby will get very tired and he will sleep around 30 minutes.. Most of the time, we return home around 11 pm! Then get ready to sleep and hoping for a better day! It is tiring. So, this is one of many reasons why my MIL and FIL have decided to stay at our house during weekdays.. They are so kind.

My MIL is a loving person. She loves kids so much. I can feel and it is obvious. She will do anything as long as her grand-kids are well taken care of. You actually can tell the way she looks after a kid. She will patiently chase my kids if they refuse to eat.. she will do anything to make sure the kids eat!Only those who have high passion with kids could do that..I don't know what will happen to Fahri if I let other people take care of him. But now Alhamdulillah, Fahri lagi kuat makan dari Naeem!

Not only having a good parent in law, I also feel so blessed to have wonderful and kind heart siblings-in law. All of them. Kalau orang ada masalah ipar duai yang jenis mulut or hati busuk, Alhamdulillah I never face this kind of issue. Even though we seldomly say it, but deep inside our heart, we love each other. I am impressed actually with my husband's family. All kids grown up being a good person inside out. Apa rahsia emak ye. hmm... Alhamdulillah sangat sebab mereka sebaik ibu, bapa, abang and adik kandung saya.

Mak with adik ipar yang bongsu

Adik ipar no1 with her lil family

Adik ipar laki yang kanan sekali pegang naeem tu

Adik ipar no 4

Let's appreciate good people in our life. Thank u Allah s.w.t

My ups and downs in 2013

Ok..this is gonna be a long post. Oh...today is the end day of 2013? So..what is our biggest achievement? Did everything goes accordingly to our plan? Do we achieve our goals? Well, for me, 2013 is a year where I have learned so many things about life. Unexpectedly. We only plan, Allah swt is the best planner and He knows what is the best for His servants. Alhamdulillah for all the ups and downs moments happened in my life throughout 2013. It surely made me who I am today, becoming a better person. Syukran.

January- July 2013: New working experience with SESS

I have been transited to SESS (School of Social Sciences) from CFS (Foundation Studies) with 3 other colleagues (tika, Mun and Fia) since November 2012. I have been with CFS for more than 3 years. It was really a sad moment for me as I am so closed with all my officemates in CFS. However, I took the offer for the sake of developing my teaching skills and challenging myself to become a better academician. My heart was slowly becoming empty as I was leaving CFS. I gained different set of teaching experience in SESS. From teaching proficiency subjects to content subjects. From teaching English to students from various courses, to only TESL students. It is challenging! I have been assigned to teach core subjects like Structure of English, Varieties of English, Pedagogy of Teaching and few other TESL subjects. I enjoyed my teaching as I am able to experience teaching both proficiency and content subjects. It was really exciting to see so many young talents are investing their money, energy and time just for the sake of chasing their dream to become a future educator. I love the feeling of sharing my knowledge and excitement on how to draw a tree diagram in a Structure class with my students. I miss that. huhu. I also experienced going to schools in Shah Alam area to observe my practicum students. It was definitely priceless experience for me even though it was quite tiring to travel here and there. In SESS, I also took challenge from my ex-boss to be the Emcee for one of the major events of the university, which is the launching of SESS. I will remember this for the rest of my life as I have been working together with Kak Zaila, another senior yet gorgeous TESL lecturer as the emcee of the event. Kak Zaila has taught me a lot of things, not only about being a good emcee but also about life. So many things. I miss her. I also got to know senior lecturers from SESS who have shared so much knowledge. 

Then, Mun gave us a shock news that she resigned. I started to feel a lil bit empty. Shortly few weeks after that, my other fav girl, Fia decided to do the same thing. I felt so empty. They are my best girls in SESS besides Tika. We were transited together. Trying to accept the fact that these sweet hearts are leaving me, I felt hopeless. My life was only about students. No more purpose coming to work. With lots of negativity from working environment, I just don't have the heart anymore there. Receiving the news that most of the lecturers need to go for outstation teaching on the following semester, which means you're gonna have less weekends with your loved ones. I felt so stress with so many works to do in the making added with less time with family, I made a big decision in my life. After consulting my hubby, I sent my resignation letter on the 1st April 2013 for 3 months notice. Most of my colleagues were hard to believe my decision. But I believe, with hardworks, effort, doa and tawakal, there is a better place out there. Just imagine, I resigned with 0% of knowing my chances to get a new job. I was taking a big risk. But, I believe in Allah swt. My intention is none other than to be a better person, in and out, which I couldn't have that in SESS. I was gambling with my luck as some people couldn't believe that I was just letting go the reputation that have been built all these years just like that. So, my last day was on the 1st July 2013.

My precious experience being an emcee together with Kak Zaila

moment with my Btesl students in a mass lecture. Spot me?

 

some of great lecturers that I know

observing my students doing their teaching practicum in schools 

met great lecturers

While I was still working with SESS, in March, my two sons were affecting by HFMD (hand feet mouth disease) at the same time! Poor them...they were quarantined for one week and I took one week leave to take care of them. Thank u mom, dad and sis who came to help. I've learned a lot on kids hygiene after that.

Poor kids on quarantine

I lost two sweet hearts in march and April and taking my heart with them ;)

 Some sweet thought from my students as they knew that I am leaving the university. I miss these students of course. I miss teaching good local students.

My resignation also means I have to put a distance with other close friends. More to soul sisters. They also resigned and now leave a better life. Only Nadia is still there. But Alhamdulillah, we always try our best to keep in touch and organize a meet-up.

July - September 2013: Full time house wife

This term was actually one of the most difficult time in my life. I have no job. I have no income. I have no money to give to my parents and my parents in law. No more shopping. No more outing. I lost one source of social life. I even cracked my right hand when I fell down on the street. I suffered for one week. I felt lonely staying at home, just talking to my kids. I hunted for numbers of jobs and failed. I got few job offers but everything was just not right for me. I cried for million times. I felt so hopeless. But I never gave up. I believe in His rezeki for me. 

On the bright side, I become more positive in life. I learned the hard ways. I remember queuing in lines to wait for a turn to get our bubur lambuk for berbuka puasa during Ramadhan. I remember how to become more patient with my kids. I remember I would find anything from the fridge that I can use to cook. I remember how I just recycled my baju for Raya just to see my kids get new cloth. Nobody knows except for my hubby. He never failed to give me hope, encouraged me to get better job. He is truly an inspiration. Thank u Abg. He believes in me so deeply. My relationship with Allah swt becomes closer. I communicate with him every single day. I recited Al Quran more as I have more time. I took a better care of my solat. I regret for not being grateful with what I had previously. This three months has learnt me so many life lessons. Thank you Allah swt. I spent all days with my two lovely boys. I enjoyed everything that I do with them eventhough I have lost my temper at times. I wanted them to be the best person ever, duniawi and ukhrawi. I miss cooking early in the morning, waiting for the boys to wake up, play with them all day long, play hide and seek, sleep with them..ok it was the best 3 months ever. I also got to develop my cooking skill as I tried so many menus.

With that hand, I still joined my hubby's family to Sunway Lagoon ;)

My nyawa..

One of my best menu- Ikan Patin masak tempoyak

I have more quality times with my loved ones

I also couldn't believe that I actually manage to host a makan-makan event. I am so proud of myself. I managed to host two makan2 events without anyone's help. Just me and myself. I cooked everything from the main dish to the desert! wahh.. I still couldn't believe I have done that!

Organized small jamuan raya on my own!

September 2013 onwards- New Job! A better life!

I received a call from Mediu one day when I was attending an interview with Utar (after numbers of interviews). I just grabbed all the opportunities. I went for the interview in Masalam and was hoping to get it as it is located in Shah Alam! I got the second interview on the next day. Alhamdulillah, I nailed it. I have been offered to be one of the lecturers. It is totally a new experience, new environment. I learn on how to conduct an online class, I have no local students, I learn how to deal with students from Somalia, Nigeria, Middle Eat, Syria. Muslim countries. Everything here makes me become closer with the Creator, Allah swt. The dress code, friends, students, everything is leading me to Him. Till I realize, this is my doa all this while. Remember that I said when I resigned, I believe there is a better place for me. This is definitely a better place. There are challeges. But are doable still. As long as it does not take away my precious time with my loved ones, then I have nothing to complain. My company also is very much concerned with spiritual side of its staff development by sending us to Islamic talk. I feel so blessed to work here. I managed to go to few Islamic talks for free. Alhamdulillah. I am slowly doing a hijrah towards my fashion sense. InsyaAllah.

My online class

My so-not-local students

My new colleagues

Down to memory lane, 2013 also taught us a huge lesson when my house in Kuantan was affected by flood. I was dam worried about my family in Kuantan. It was one of the nerve-wrecking moments in 2013. Alhamdulillah, everything ended up well. But this put a remarkable mark that we need to be ready with any possibilities in future as Allah's will is the most mighty. Allahuakhbar.

 flood in my parents' house

November 2013- Edanee!

I would also like to remember 2013 as one of the happiest moment in my life as I am moving a step forward as an online business woman. Even though it is still new and small, but I finally have the gut to share my passion with people out there! =)

 

Hope to have more and new stocks after this! 

 Thus, thank u very much for all the memories, 2013. There is nothing that I have regretted. In fact, it makes me a better human. Insya Allah.

And 2014... welcome and please be nice! ;)

Self-Challenge

I am in a term where I challenge myself for good reasons (of course). I need to do this as I have been out of disciplines lately.

1. I challenge myself not to use the credit card starting from this month. Except for fuel. So far, (today is the 7th day of challenge) I am doing great...I shopped at tesco and Econsave using my cash, man! haha.. The benefit of paying cash is that you tend to spend less money on every item as u know u are out of cash. This is totally different when I was deeply madly in love with mr visa ;p I would spend more as some of the stores would not receive credit card if the total spending is not more than rm 50! So, instead of just wanted to buy a rm 20 car perfume, I will search for something else to make sure the total amount reaches 50! How pathetic is that! Thank you to mr hubby sbb berletiaq and to myself for actually challenging my own self.. Keep standing yana!

2. I challenge myself to have more physical working outs as much as possible. Nope, I am not going to gym. But, I will take any chances to walk, to use stairs instead of lift or escalators to my office. This is the challenge to get my ideal and dream weight. So far, I am faithful to my own rules.

3. I challenge myself to eat breakfast, healthy breakfast, not to eat nasi lemak and I try my best not to have a heavy lunch. I challenge myself to eat a small portion of rice each time I am having my meal. So far, I am taking this challenge very seriously except for I had so many pieces of durians last night ;p This is also part of getting my ideal and dream weight and body.

4. I am challenging myself to eat more fruits and less cakes or junk food.

5. I am challenging myself to drink more and more plain water and say no to carbonate and sweet drinks.

 6. I have more challenges actually which I am still in the mid of implementing them:

- I want to perform Dhuha every day

- I want to read Al Quran more frequently. At least, every two days.

-I want to perform Solat Hajat for every dream that I wish to

SAY YES TO A MORE HEALTHY AND POSITIVE LIFE (poyo x )

Please pray for my success, folks!

Being 30!

Another backdated post! But I need to post this as 30 is a number that means something! Means no more 2 series! Do u understand how it feels like? Oh my... what have been I up to until now, until 30? How time flies and leave us behind... sob sob..hihi.. no lah..we should be thankful that we are still given the opportunity to breathe and viewing this nikmat from Allah swt. Alhamdulillah ya Allah for still giving me a chance to witness and enjoy your wonderful rezeki.

So, Mr Epul as usual, will ask me what do I want for my birthday? And I did. And I already got it and hope to enjoy it soon haha. He bought me a birthday cake on the 13th December's night, after work (so sweet).

My 30th birthday cake =)

Calebrated with my MIL and SIL...Can you see my tired face after getting back from work?

 Then, taking pictures, then I wanted to have a dinner at a seafood restaurant. Thus, we headed to Pulau Ketam Restaurant, just somewhere in Bukit Tinggi, Klang. The food was finger licking good butttttt!!!! All that we did was chasing around our super active, mobiled kids, taking turn to eat and ended up tapau food and went home! haha... No regret..Things we should expect when we have two little kids around!

First few minutes

Anyway, thank u hubby for the effort.

I feel so touched and happy receiving so many birthday wishes not only from my close family members but also my close friends. Sha even came to my workplace and we had a lunch together and she gave me a long skirt. My colleagues were also being very sweet to give me gifts like shawl and a book. Thank u people!

Sha brought Adele to me! Adele is so adorable!

Gift from my colleague

My hubby gave me a Carlo Rino purse and an amount of money for me to keep going my online biz, Edanee. Thank u abg!

Kesan video Ahmad Ammar Ahmad Azam

Firstly I just want to mention this: I guess social networking websites like FB, Twitter and Instagram are actually giving us lots of benefits nowadays. Especially for people like me (read: people who find excuse to read newspapers be it from the internet or buying newspapers every single day!).

Contoh macam hari ni. Pagi2 bukak FB just to check news feed...and within one scroll, dah boleh tahu 10 berita terkini. And hari ni nama Ahmad Ammar sangat popular..hanya setelah pemergian beliau. Baru berusia 20 tahun, tetapi pemergiannya sangat diingati dan ditangisi. Bila tengok video perihal Ammar, terus rasa "beruntungnya si Ibu kerana dikurniakan anak yang luar biasa pemikiran dan analoginya". Semangat hijrah dan jihad yang ada pada Ammar amat sy kagumi malah sangat berdoa agar anak2 sy juga dikurniakan semangat yang sama. Semangat yang perlu ada pada setiap anak muda Islam.

Tapi, when to think of that, fikir balik, kenapa tidak mula dengan diri sendiri? Kenapa perlu mula dengan anak-anak? Jihad dan hijrah bukan specific untuk lelaki dan anak muda sahaja. Kita kaum wanita pun boleh lakukan. I am reaching 30 in few weeks. Tapi selalu tanya apa sumbangan diri untuk agama? Sebab tu I nak continue PHD. I nak buat research yang boleh contribute something to my one and only Islam. Kalau ade rezeki, memang ade jugak teringin nak pergi negara2 Islam and jadi sukarelawan. Tapi cakap memang senang kan, bila nak buat, baru la macam2 alasan yang datang huhu.

Anyway, mari kita ambil semangat Ammar yang jelas mission akhirat nya lebih dari mission duniawi. Insya Allah