When Fahri got fever

Assalamualaikum and hye..

I took 3 days of Emergency Leave last week, beginning Wednesday till Friday. Well, that's what working mothers need to go through if any of the children falls sick. My first son, Fahri got fever since Monday night, at 11 pm. He was about to go to bed. Poor him that he had to absent from school for the whole week. Since Monday, the temperature has reached 38-40 C! That was unusual because his temperature has never reached 40 C when he got fever, previously. A mother's instinct insisted me to bring Fahri to the hospital for a further check-up on Tuesday night. We went to Columbia Asia Hospital Bukit Rimau which was our first time there. Never knew it is so close to my house and they have a tip-top emergency unit team. Luckily Naeem was sleeping, so it was all about my Fahri then. Looking at Fahri's fever symptoms; began with flu, a very high fever (can reach to 40C), vomiting, the doctor as well as us, the parents were afraid that he was having a dengue. Nauzubillah. However, mr doctor also suspected Fahri was infected either by Influenza A or Influenza B because these two types of fever are epidemic during this dry season. According to him, Influenza A is more serious than Influenza B. So, a blood test had been done. I was waiting with Fahri in a room for the blood test result which took one hour, while hubby was accompanying Naeem inside the car. Around 40 minutes of waiting, the humble doctor came and explained the blood test result to me. Alhamdulillah, it was not a dengue. I was so worried and trauma with this 'dengue' word. But, my son has been infected by Influenza A virus, not a severe one due to Fahri's blood count were all normal. Alhamdulillah. I was so thankful to Allah swt when the doctor said that Fahri did not need to be admitted because I assumed that my son's condition was not that serious. Doc said he might have been infected at school from other kid who already had been infected. Yup, maybe. One thing that I am very grateful about is the fact that Fahri loves to drink plain water so much. That really helps.

We went home and I decided to take emergency leave for 3 days, fortunately my university semester has just ended and I had no classes to replace. I promised myself to be a dedicated nurse to my son. The only difference was that, this nurse would kiss and cuddle him most of the times hehe. Fahri was required to be quarantined till Friday. It was very hard for the first two days since Fahri and Naeem need to be separated #clingy-mom. Fahri stayed with me at home while Naeem had stay at Opah's house, 40 minutes away from our home. I cried most of the times on the first day of separation hahahaha. Got scolded by hubby of being too manja kahkah. I couldn't help lah! I missed Naeem so much. I was almost giving up on the second day because Fahri's temperature has not decreased. It just got lower when he was given the medicine and increased back after 3 hours. I was afraid that I was not a good nurse. I wanted him to be admitted but hubby believed that we could do this. Alhamdulillah, he completely recovered on the third day. Alhamdulillah. To all mommies, I am sure you can relate with what I am going to say here. These are the blessings in disguise when our child got fever:

1- Bonding time. Like seriously. As for example, Fahri needs to be separated and quarantines, thus it was only me and Fahri in the house. It was lonely but I really gave my 100 percent attention and love towards him. Since Naeem was born, I would say this was the first time I had spent my hours totally with  only him. And he looked so happy. He got all the attention from me. I cooked his favorite meal such as Spaghetti Bolognese and he ate for so many times regardless his feverish condition. We did school books together, we did writing and practicing his name, coloring and so many more. Even though I missed Naeem so much but I am glad that I had this opportunity, the time to be spent with Fahri. Thank you Allah swt. We even went for a date on the last day before papa picked up his brother that night. He was very happy. We went to Pizza Hut, his favorite food and also I brought him to MPH book store, just for him to explore his interest towards books.

2- More love and appreciation- I even miss and love Naeem so much more. I missed his big voice, laugh and cheeky gestures. Thank you  my MIL for taking care of him. Hubby also went to MIL's house to accompany Naeem after work. Looking at the helpless condition of Fahri when his temperature was really high, I felt so thankful for whatever he has become or he is becoming. I don't want to complain no more. Well, of course I did not complain much either before. As a parent, we tend to compare our kids with others'. Their development, behavior. But, all these thing are not important anymore when your kids fall sick. All that we want is for them to recover as quick as possible. Reminder to all parents; accept and love your kids for whoever they are. Appreciate this pinjaman and anugerah from Allah swt. There are reasons why these kids are different. Just be thankful that at least, we are lent this beautiful gift from Allah swt. InsyaAllah, I will be a more rationale mom after this, try my best not to scold my kids with the highest pitch... oh mama what are you thinking? they are just kids.. you are supposed to teach and guide them with love, not scream and scream!

3- Sibling love- Even though when I asked Fahri whether he missed Adik Naeem and he answered no (he must have been love the time and the attention he got while adik was not around), but the moment Adik Naeem returned home with papa on the last day, they just couldn't hide that they missed each other so much. They played together and of course got back into a fight after a while LOLs.

 4- Improve my ibadah- segala Dhuha, Tahajud, segala doa mama buat just to make sure Allah swt would ease my burden and recover my son from his illness. Agaknya kalau Allah swt tak bagi ujian ni, kita buat tak all these amalan? In my case, honestly, it was very occasionally. So, you see .. Allah swt gives us a test because He loves us, insyaAllah, he wants to give us more rewards, InsyaAllah.

Oh.. these few days were really about us and kids. Last night, I accidentally watched a movie; "The Disappearance of Elanor Rigby: Them" after putting my kids to bed. It was about a couple- Eleanor and Conor who went through a tragedy, loosing their only son. They lost their son. Eleanor went disappear for 6 months from family and her love, Conor after her son's death. She couldn't and was not ready to live with the memory and left Conor clueless and alone. I cried (nangis lagi haha) watching the scene where Eleanor went to Conor's apartment (Conor was cleaning some stuff because he is moving out, he also took out some of their baby's memorial stuffs- carseat, baby clothes, etc) and that was the first time after 6 months that El could look back at those stuffs. El said to Conor "I am sorry because I was not ready to go through this ( accepting the fact that their child's death and living with it)." I really could feel her. I just can't imagine how the strong mommies out there who had lost their child live their life. I just can't. You guys are so strong. Hats off!!

Conor and Eleanor from "The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Them". This movie has made me realize that we should love and appreciate the existence of our kids in life. Some people are just too struggling to have one child! Be grateful people!

So, Fahri and Naeem, mama will always try to be my best in providing the best for you two, my little champions! Thank you Allah swt for this test!

Ya Allah, Kau kurniakanlah kesihatan yang baik terhadap kami, lindungilah kami dari bahaya dunia dan akhirat. Kami bersyukur untuk setiap ujian yang Kau berikan... Aminn

Cinta dan jodoh

Assalamualaikum and hye..

Kalau ada satu pesan yang paling aku nak sampaikan pada adik-adik, gadis-gadis kat luar tu adalah isu cinta.

Adik2 kakak, dengarlah. Cinta yang abadi itu hanyalah cinta kepada Allah swt. Apabila cinta kepada Allah swt adalah yang paling utama dalam hidup kita, maka cinta yang lain akan datang. Apabila kita masih bujang, belum berkahwin, maka cinta kita adalah untuk kedua ibu bapa kita. I say this because I also did mistake in my life. How I wish I could turn back time and cintakan Allah swt sepenuh hati dari dulu. Mungkin juga kesedaran belum cukup kuat ketika itu. 

Adik2 kakak, dengarlah. Jangan lah dicari cinta sesama manusia itu jika Allah swt belum mahu memberikannya. Apakah tandanya cinta itu direstu Allah swt? Tandanya jika kita masih menjadi diri sendiri, masih menjadi anak yang baik, tidak lupakan agama, sentiasa mengutamakan kedua ibu bapa, maka cinta itu InsyaAllah adalah jodoh dari Allah swt. Kalau bukan jodoh pun, mungkin ada hikmah yang tersembunyi.

Ingatlah, apabila kita sudah tidak jadi diri sendiri dan mengenepikan keluarga sama ada secara sedar atau tidak, thus it is not a real love. Jangan cari penyakit. Kalau kita ketepikan agama, ketepikan keluarga, maka Allah swt bagi cash je, sentiasa ada masalah dalam perhubungan, hati tidak tenang, dipenuhi syaitan. Nauzubillah. Jangan lah menyesal di kemudian hari. Kalau Allah swt masih belum menemukan jodohmu... bersabarlah dan teruskan berdoa kerana Allah swt janjikan kemanisan di hujung pernantian.

Tepatlah. Perempuan yang baik hanya untuk lelaki yang baik. Tapi aku percaya, kita semua mampu dapat yang terbaik jika kita kuatkan iman dari mula. Memanglah, ustazah ini hanya layak dengan ustaz yang itu. Tapi ingat, Allah swt sentiasa mengampunkan dosa hamba-hambaNya dan pintu taubat sentiasa terbuka. Kejarlah syurga kita. Sentiasalah meminta ampun. Kalau kita pernah melakukan kesilapan, bertaubatlah dan minta ampun. Istiqamah.. InsyaAllah kita juga mungkin ada peluang di syurga. Aminn

Tak mau ke kita semua ke syurga? Susah kan sebab kita tak nampak. Sebab tu kita kena kuatkan iman. Macam mana nak kuatkan iman dan cintakan akhirat? Bacalah Al-Quran setiap hari, solat sunat setiap hari, jangan tinggal solat wajib, berpuasa, sentiasa lakukan apa yang disukai Allah swt. Please Him because we want His reward. Reward; Syurga Allah swt.

Tak mau ke kita ke syurga? Syurga itu sangat indah. Everything is possible in heaven. Tak mau ke kamu bersama kembali dgn org2 yang soleh yang kamu sayang di syurga? Tak takut ke neraka? Mau ke kamu lihat orang yang kamu sayang di syurga sedangkan kamu dijilat api di neraka?

Ada orang tanya, macam mana kita nak percaya wujudnya syurga dan neraka? Astaghfirullahhalazim. Itu tandanya kita sangat jauh dari Allah swt. Caranya mudah. Dekatkan lah diri dengan Allah swt. Jangan tinggal yang wajib tu. Kalau rasa masih jauh dengan Allah swt, tambahkan yang sunat2 tu, Dhuha, Quran, Tahajud, Witir. Kalau kita sentiasa bertemu dengan Allah swt, maka Allah swt lebih2 lagi mahu berjumpa kita.

A simple example that I can give you. Sometimes, aku rasa macam gelisah macam dah kurang keimanan aku minggu itu, aku akan terus dengar IKIM FM. Please save this frequency on your car radio fav frequency list, 91.6 for Lembah Klang. This is very good for soul. Aku paling suka dengar segmen Ibrah dari Ustaz Syaari Abdul Rahman setiap hari Isnin, 5-6 petang. Sangat menginsafkan. Maksudnya, kalau rasa sudah jauh, cepat2 dekatkan balik iman kita ni sebab sesungguhnya dugaan dunia memang sangat kuat tarikannya. Tapi percalah sahabat-sahabatku, sesungguhnya syurga itu terpaling indah.