Adab seorang Isteri di tempat kerja

It's Friday yooo. I am soo happy. Not only because of Friday means weekend is approaching, but I am so relief because next week is mid-semester break and the mid-term exam on the following week. That means.. no teaching for two weeks. Haha... you know, sometimes we just need a break from your daily routines. So, I really need these 2 weeks. I am not going for vacation though, but I just need a break from teaching. Need to refresh my cerebrum for a while. Wahh cerebrum terus haha..

I went out for a lunch with my soul sisters just now. As usual, we did catch up on stories and updates. So my friend cerita fasal ada student dia macam nak cuba try dia la. Then, how she handled the situation. We shared our stories. We experienced the same circumstances. Because we are educators. It is a normal situation when there are students who are trying to show their feeling for you. Regardless their actual intention. Yes.. it is normal. I am sure most of lecturers/ teachers have met this kind of student, at least once in their teaching career. But, it is a problem when you are not only an educator, but you are also a WIFE. You are married.

When I was a single, non-married lecturer, it was more difficult for me to handle this kind of situation. Because obviously I am not interested at all to have a feeling with my own student. Just.. soo not me. It is difficult because you just do not know what kind of excuses to give to the student that you are not interested in the nicest way. I am the type of person who doesn't like to create negative 'ambiance' between my students and myself. So, I won't be that loud to say "Don't ever text or call me again, or else I will fail you" hahaha.. konon2 nk takut2 kan la. I will just ignore the text, call. Playing ignorance. That was the best thing I could do. At one point, I feel like I wanted to wear a fake 'engagement' or 'wedding' ring. Just to show, I am belong to someone, so please understand, there is a limit between you (a student) and me, a lecturer. Walaupun masa teaching kat UITM dulu, my students semua handsome2 ok. hahahahah. Tapi akak memang tak boleh dik. Akak mmg kena orang yg lagi tua dr akak. 

So, now when I am married with two kids, I feel more secured. I am happy that I have strong reason to avoid this kind of situation. If I notice that there are students who look 'unusual' than ever, haha, I will start show off  my wedding ring, pusing2kan cincin, trying to give the sign "see.. my wedding ring here! Don't even think to cause a mess!!!" kihkih.. 

So, to all wives or future wives out there, these are my advice, adab kita sebagai isteri:

1. Tolongla pakai cincin kahwin tu

Kalau ada cincin tunang, risik pakai je semua. Ia akan lebih menyelamatkan maruah anda sebagai seorang perempuan. So, orang mmg tak berani nk kacau la sebab tahu u adalah isteri orang.

2. Berbual secara serius

Boleh nak melawak2 sometimes, x kisahla dengan colleagues ke students ke.. tapi gunalah intonation suara yg paling macho. Avoid gedik voice. Please la.. Jaga maruah sebagai seorang isteri. I know.. bila bekerja, mmg kita perlu bersosial, berkomunikasi dengan male staff or male students, tapi x payahla ketawa mengekeh2, manja2... jaga maruah u n husband u. Bila u nampak terkawal dalam conversation u, so that orang lelaki x kan mudah tergoda unless u cantik gila la kan. x cakap pun org da teringat kan...

3. Label "saya isteri orang"

Kat my office ni, selain email dan phone, all staff can communicate through lync. Lync ni macam Yahoo Messenger la. Boleh chatting2. I really think it's a cool way to communicate. X payah bangun n pergi ke level2 lain and communicate unless nak hand in document ke apa kan. Sbb tu la lemak makin degil nak berambus hihi. X de exercise hehe. Anyway, tapi bila ada this kind of facility, ada jugak yg ambik kesempatan nak 'borak2 kosong'. I ada jugak received this kind of gangguan masa mula2 kerja dulu. Tapi simple je, jangan melayan. Lantak la die nak kata kita ni sombong ke, perasan bagus ke. Tapi jangan la rude sangat. I punya tips senang je.. Contoh perbualan:

Conversation no 1

Pengacau: Salam.. buat apa tu.. bz ke.. u look like someone yg pernah I kenal (penting ke sampai nk lync???)

Me: Salam.. oh ye ke..sorry jap.. my husband is calling.. (tipu je husband calling..saja nk bgtau I am a wife to someone).

Pengacau (yg x reti bahasa): oh..husband u kejer mana (motif sibuk nak tau)

Me: Oh..he keje biasa je. Ketua Polis kat Bukit Aman. Tapi kami handle business sama2 (sah2 la aku tipu hahahah...tipu sunat demi nk halau pengacau ni).

Pengacau: Ok

Haha.. confirm diam terus. Cubalah cara ni. Lepas tu, I can see that he has more respect on me. Klau jumpa pun cakap fasal kerja n company (dengan intonation yg macho). Kalau u start layan, sebenarnya lelaki ni nak test market je kekadang,  sometimes yg dah berbini tu lagila ..ya Allah..so kita kena firm ok. Tapi x boleh la x reply langsung sbb kita kerja di company yg sama. Just make sure org tahu u ni dah kahwin and proud of it.

Conversation no 2

Si polan yg nak test market (tapi mamat ni aku x boleh kerek sangat sbb mmg satu department.) : Hye Ilyana, my birthday next month. Nanti belanja I birthday cake yg sedap.

Me: Oh sorry.. I dont buy cake for other people except for my husband ;p

Si polan: oh ok

See.. kita kena firm untuk 'patahkan' conversation tu. Kalau colleague itu rapat masukkan emoticon macam ';p' dalam conversation tapi ayat biar tegas.. so he will get the message. Lepas tu he will respect u as a colleague and also as a someone's wife. Trust me.

4. Kalau rasa perlu, selalu ceritakan fasal your husband / kids

 I did this in every class I teach. I want the students to respect me as a matured married woman. And a mother, sometimes. Tell good stories about your husband. But not too much la, nnti org menyampah. Bila rasa macam lain je bebudak ni or colleague ni. At the same time, u are teaching them good moral values. Love your family. They will really respect you. Trust me. Pernah ade satu kes, my student text me through uni portal, telling me that I am pretty hahah.. mmg aku x reply.. but the next day pergi class, first 10 mins terus aku cerita fasal husband and kids.. how I am happy.. how I am lucky to have my husband..hahha.. terus merah padam muka student tu.. dia ingat aku nk reply n say thank u n happily ever after... sorry la keh... So kena pandai handle keh...

5. Kalau dapat hadiah

It's normal for the students to give presents to their fav teachers or lecturers kan... Tapi kalau student yg kasi tu lelaki, apa patut buat? I senang je, I will ask him " Why do you give me this gift? Make sure u give to all your teacher.. or else, people will talk about it" Explain to them that it's not a good idea to give a present to a married teacher. But, yes say thank u anyway. Usually, I will just keep the gifts, dah lama2 rasa nk guna baru I guna. What if ada male colleague belanja cake or food (which x pernah la jadi pada aku), tak rasa bersalah ke makan?? Please la.. just x payah makan atau bg je kat org lain.. Firm ok! Tolongla rasa bersalah pada husband u olls.

Ok..so far tu je la tips how to behave as a working wife hehe... sharing is caring keh.

Ingat lah.. syurga kita pada suami kita. Kerja2 jugak. Tapi mana arah kita. Akhirat bukan? Syurga bukan? Iman kena kuat. Bekerjalah dengan maruah. InsyaAllah, dapat jadi isteri solehah.

Bagaimana nak tingkatkan confidence level bila speaking English?

Wahhh...tajuk tak menahan. Tajuk nak traffic views je..haha. sometimes. ok. I would like to share tips or maybe at least my own experience how do I gain my confidence to speak English, especially in a presentation. Post kali ini adalah bersifat bilingual supaya lagi dekat and lagi feel buat adik2 or anyone yang nak improve their speaking skill in English. So, please forgive my code-switching mode =)

Ok. I kan. bukan datang dari family yang guna English dalam dialog seharian. Cuma I memang minat English dari I kecik. Plus, my dad pun suka anything yang English ni. Dia banyak influence I kot. So, u alls boleh la ambil tips I ni sebab kita punya background yang sama. Not from an English spoken family. Sama kan kita? Maksud yang spoken English family tu bukan la sebab u anak orang putih, tapi maksudnya sama ada u lahir kat oversea, u pernah ikut family u stay kat oversea, u anak mix-parentage or family u semua memang guna English as a mother-tongue language. Pilih yang mana. Kalau tak ada satu pun from the list, that means we are in the same boat. So boleh cuba tips ni.

Sabar. belum tips lagi (chehh..macam la ade org nak baca kan haha). Nak cerita, masa I buat TESL dulu, I ngaku I antara yang weak sbb most of my coursemates mmg hebat2 speaking nya.. so rasa low self esteem kejap..so I banyak dengar je daripada memberikan pendapat. It is normal when kita rasa down and tak yakin dengan sendiri seterusnya malas nak usaha bila tahu keadaan ketika itu sangat competitive. We tend to give up easily. So masa buat degree, memang I ngaku I x berapa nak usaha to improve my speaking skill. Memang tiap kali nak presentation, memang rasa nak lari balik umah mak, or tukar course terus. tapi tu bukan tips ye.... So, bila dah start teaching (kerja), barula start observe beberapa jenis English accents. Masa kerja dekat UiTM Perak, bercampur dengan senior lecturers yang grad from merata dunia membuatkan I dapat trace few accents yang pada I, menarik! Rasa macam nak jugak speaking macam Puan Noranida tu! Tapi still rasa tak apa. Still rasa ok, go with the flow.

Pastu, ok belum tips lagi. sambung buat master kat UM. Lagi la. kalau dalam class tu, memang boleh kira dengan jari la berapa students Melayu kan. So, just imagine berapa banyak accents yang I encountered masa tu. Ada Chinese English, Indian English, Thailand English, Middle East English, American, British dan macam- macam lagi. So, this exposure buat I rasa tertarik untuk apeaking English menggunakan accent yang tertentu. Masa tu I pun x tau accent mana yang paling I comfortable with. I tried to mix few accents. Sekejap nk sound macam American, sekejap macam Chinese English, paling tak tahan kalau nak bunyik macam British kan. poyo. memang. tapi itulah harga yang perlu dibayar. Biar orang cakap kita poyo asalkan kita guna bahasa tu dalam our daily conversation. Mula-mula memang poyo, tapi magiknya, slowly kita akan trace our own accent yang kita sangat comfortable with.

Contoh macam I. Memang mula2 I tak dapat lagi i punya accent identity. belasah je. janji guna the language. Tapi yang buat I confident to speak sampai sekarang adalah bila I masuk one of this master's classes. I sangat suka the way my lecturer ni speaks. Very clear and bila dia cakap, setiap perkataan adalah sangat bermakna and understandable. See...how importance clear and correct pronunciation is? Walaupun tak suka dengan lecturer ni, tapi memang accent dia sangat inspiring. She is a Chinese. Tapi accent dia tak la terlalu ketara bunyi pelat cinanya. So, I nak sangat my English sounds exactly like her. So, I practice tau. Bila mengajar dalam class, I try to imitate her accent. Ala..bukannya dia ada dalam klas I tu pun. Sampaila sekarang walaupun banyak lagi boleh improve, tapi once kita suka dengan accent kita, maka kita akan jadi lebih confident untuk speaking English especially in public.

Ok. Selain my lecturer tu, ada another person who influences my accent today. She is Dilly from mix fm. Everyday I go to work masa tu, I mesti dengar Dilly n JD morning show ni. Sebab I suka Dilly ni vocab dia yang bagus, pronunciation clear and she doesn't talk rubbish! So, basically, what I can say is that, the accent of English that I am using or applying in my daily life or more specifically when I am in class with my students is the combo of my ex lecturer tu + Dilly's. Haha..so jadilah I punya heee.

 Dilly Mix FM

Ni ex lecturer saya ;p

Ok..finally. the tips. hope dapat membantu.

1. Banyakkan mendengar beberapa English accents. Paling senang kalau u minat movies or Hollywood artist ke politician ke, cuba dengar cara diorang cakap. Kalau u impress tu maknanya u memang nak cakap macam dia. So pilih few figures yang u paling suka dengar accent mereka. It can come from your own dad kalau u suka. Jangan hanya dengar satu. Kalau u rasa u minat Rihanna, jangan hanya nak jadi or sound like her. Cuba cari beberapa sample lain. Bila u ada beberapa sounds, baru u tau yang mana u paling comfortable and sesuai.

2. Bila dah tau siapa idola u dalam English accent ni, cuba dengar banyak kali, watch his/her movies for few times and PRACTISE! cakap sorang2 pun bagus for a start. cakap sorang2 dalam kereta pun tak pe. Biar gila asalkan pandai haha.

3. Kalau nak tau macam mana bunyi kita cakap, cuba record, sama tak macam Rihanna tu. But biasenya kita tau bila accent kita dah yang macam kita nak tu. So, bila dah berjaya imitate, jap. Imitate tak bermaksud kita akan bunyi exactly macam idol kita tu. Kita tak akan bunyi macam orang tu sebiji sebulat. never. so jangan rasa kita ni copy cat ke apa. sebab apa? akan ada faktor2 lain yang akan membuatkan kita punya accent tu adalah khas milik kita seorang. Contoh? macam kita lahir kat mana, first language kita dan kita pelat huruf apa. So, terhasillah accent kita sendiri.

4. Bila dah rasa macam 'eh....i sound like her la'..so apa lagi...eksyen la sikit. Use the language with full of confidence. Why? Because u dah ada accent sendiri! sedap pulak tu...bunyi macam Rihanna. So bila kita selesa guna accent kita, orang pun akan happy and smile bila tengok kita yakin. So, bila nampak orang happy dengan presentation kita, laaaagila kita confident.

ok. so itu tips nak ada confidence masa speaking la. Yang lain tu of course u kena improve your vocab and grammar. Baru lagi ngam!