It's Friday yooo. I am soo happy. Not only because of Friday means weekend is approaching, but I am so relief because next week is mid-semester break and the mid-term exam on the following week. That means.. no teaching for two weeks. Haha... you know, sometimes we just need a break from your daily routines. So, I really need these 2 weeks. I am not going for vacation though, but I just need a break from teaching. Need to refresh my cerebrum for a while. Wahh cerebrum terus haha..
I went out for a lunch with my soul sisters just now. As usual, we did catch up on stories and updates. So my friend cerita fasal ada student dia macam nak cuba try dia la. Then, how she handled the situation. We shared our stories. We experienced the same circumstances. Because we are educators. It is a normal situation when there are students who are trying to show their feeling for you. Regardless their actual intention. Yes.. it is normal. I am sure most of lecturers/ teachers have met this kind of student, at least once in their teaching career. But, it is a problem when you are not only an educator, but you are also a WIFE. You are married.
When I was a single, non-married lecturer, it was more difficult for me to handle this kind of situation. Because obviously I am not interested at all to have a feeling with my own student. Just.. soo not me. It is difficult because you just do not know what kind of excuses to give to the student that you are not interested in the nicest way. I am the type of person who doesn't like to create negative 'ambiance' between my students and myself. So, I won't be that loud to say "Don't ever text or call me again, or else I will fail you" hahaha.. konon2 nk takut2 kan la. I will just ignore the text, call. Playing ignorance. That was the best thing I could do. At one point, I feel like I wanted to wear a fake 'engagement' or 'wedding' ring. Just to show, I am belong to someone, so please understand, there is a limit between you (a student) and me, a lecturer. Walaupun masa teaching kat UITM dulu, my students semua handsome2 ok. hahahahah. Tapi akak memang tak boleh dik. Akak mmg kena orang yg lagi tua dr akak.
So, now when I am married with two kids, I feel more secured. I am happy that I have strong reason to avoid this kind of situation. If I notice that there are students who look 'unusual' than ever, haha, I will start show off my wedding ring, pusing2kan cincin, trying to give the sign "see.. my wedding ring here! Don't even think to cause a mess!!!" kihkih..
So, to all wives or future wives out there, these are my advice, adab kita sebagai isteri:
1. Tolongla pakai cincin kahwin tu
Kalau ada cincin tunang, risik pakai je semua. Ia akan lebih menyelamatkan maruah anda sebagai seorang perempuan. So, orang mmg tak berani nk kacau la sebab tahu u adalah isteri orang.
2. Berbual secara serius
Boleh nak melawak2 sometimes, x kisahla dengan colleagues ke students ke.. tapi gunalah intonation suara yg paling macho. Avoid gedik voice. Please la.. Jaga maruah sebagai seorang isteri. I know.. bila bekerja, mmg kita perlu bersosial, berkomunikasi dengan male staff or male students, tapi x payahla ketawa mengekeh2, manja2... jaga maruah u n husband u. Bila u nampak terkawal dalam conversation u, so that orang lelaki x kan mudah tergoda unless u cantik gila la kan. x cakap pun org da teringat kan...
3. Label "saya isteri orang"
Kat my office ni, selain email dan phone, all staff can communicate through lync. Lync ni macam Yahoo Messenger la. Boleh chatting2. I really think it's a cool way to communicate. X payah bangun n pergi ke level2 lain and communicate unless nak hand in document ke apa kan. Sbb tu la lemak makin degil nak berambus hihi. X de exercise hehe. Anyway, tapi bila ada this kind of facility, ada jugak yg ambik kesempatan nak 'borak2 kosong'. I ada jugak received this kind of gangguan masa mula2 kerja dulu. Tapi simple je, jangan melayan. Lantak la die nak kata kita ni sombong ke, perasan bagus ke. Tapi jangan la rude sangat. I punya tips senang je.. Contoh perbualan:
Conversation no 1
Pengacau: Salam.. buat apa tu.. bz ke.. u look like someone yg pernah I kenal (penting ke sampai nk lync???)
Me: Salam.. oh ye ke..sorry jap.. my husband is calling.. (tipu je husband calling..saja nk bgtau I am a wife to someone).
Pengacau (yg x reti bahasa): oh..husband u kejer mana (motif sibuk nak tau)
Me: Oh..he keje biasa je. Ketua Polis kat Bukit Aman. Tapi kami handle business sama2 (sah2 la aku tipu hahahah...tipu sunat demi nk halau pengacau ni).
Pengacau: Ok
Haha.. confirm diam terus. Cubalah cara ni. Lepas tu, I can see that he has more respect on me. Klau jumpa pun cakap fasal kerja n company (dengan intonation yg macho). Kalau u start layan, sebenarnya lelaki ni nak test market je kekadang, sometimes yg dah berbini tu lagila ..ya Allah..so kita kena firm ok. Tapi x boleh la x reply langsung sbb kita kerja di company yg sama. Just make sure org tahu u ni dah kahwin and proud of it.
Conversation no 2
Si polan yg nak test market (tapi mamat ni aku x boleh kerek sangat sbb mmg satu department.) : Hye Ilyana, my birthday next month. Nanti belanja I birthday cake yg sedap.
Me: Oh sorry.. I dont buy cake for other people except for my husband ;p
Si polan: oh ok
See.. kita kena firm untuk 'patahkan' conversation tu. Kalau colleague itu rapat masukkan emoticon macam ';p' dalam conversation tapi ayat biar tegas.. so he will get the message. Lepas tu he will respect u as a colleague and also as a someone's wife. Trust me.
4. Kalau rasa perlu, selalu ceritakan fasal your husband / kids
I did this in every class I teach. I want the students to respect me as a matured married woman. And a mother, sometimes. Tell good stories about your husband. But not too much la, nnti org menyampah. Bila rasa macam lain je bebudak ni or colleague ni. At the same time, u are teaching them good moral values. Love your family. They will really respect you. Trust me. Pernah ade satu kes, my student text me through uni portal, telling me that I am pretty hahah.. mmg aku x reply.. but the next day pergi class, first 10 mins terus aku cerita fasal husband and kids.. how I am happy.. how I am lucky to have my husband..hahha.. terus merah padam muka student tu.. dia ingat aku nk reply n say thank u n happily ever after... sorry la keh... So kena pandai handle keh...
5. Kalau dapat hadiah
It's normal for the students to give presents to their fav teachers or lecturers kan... Tapi kalau student yg kasi tu lelaki, apa patut buat? I senang je, I will ask him " Why do you give me this gift? Make sure u give to all your teacher.. or else, people will talk about it" Explain to them that it's not a good idea to give a present to a married teacher. But, yes say thank u anyway. Usually, I will just keep the gifts, dah lama2 rasa nk guna baru I guna. What if ada male colleague belanja cake or food (which x pernah la jadi pada aku), tak rasa bersalah ke makan?? Please la.. just x payah makan atau bg je kat org lain.. Firm ok! Tolongla rasa bersalah pada husband u olls.
Ok..so far tu je la tips how to behave as a working wife hehe... sharing is caring keh.
Ingat lah.. syurga kita pada suami kita. Kerja2 jugak. Tapi mana arah kita. Akhirat bukan? Syurga bukan? Iman kena kuat. Bekerjalah dengan maruah. InsyaAllah, dapat jadi isteri solehah.
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