The reason

Last week, masa jumpa my girlfriends,Mun and Fya, Mun cakap 'tryla mintak kerja at my place..lots of benefits'.. then she explained all the benefits..mmg wow..she is a lecturer now in one of the private colleges in shah alam..in terms of salary, benefits..memang lebih sikit la from what I am having right now. Plus, she is teaching local students (I love teaching local students) while I am teaching international students. I am happy for her. Indeed, her life is more meaningful now. Tak sia2 die bersabar after resigning last year. 

Melihatkan kelebihan yang ada pada her institution compared to mine, I said to Fya.. 'yups, why not we give it a try. Let's send our CV'.. Fya is working with MIDA now in KL. So, I think Mun's place would be the best option as she is staying with her mum in Shah Alam. And she misses teaching so much.

But, now..I guess I just wanna go with the flow. I don't know why kenapa tak terasa sangat nak beralih tempat lagi. Tak de rasa nak hantar CV tempat lain. Beza gaji I dgn Mun pun rm 300. Hmm banyak ke sikit beza tu haha.. Tapi, bila fikir balik, I dah sangat selesa dengan the place that I am working right now. Walaupun ada kekurangan dari segi benefits dan students, but in terms of colleagues, working environment I sangat suka. And I don't think I will get this feeling anywhere else. Mana nak dapat tempat kerja yang separatekan lelaki dan perempuan in different floor. Sangat advantage kalau I ada rezeki dapat baby lagi nanti, boleh pump susu sesuka hati haha. My colleagues sangat baik. Dah lama I x mengumpat, cakap2 belakang, bergosip yg melampau2. But don't misinterpret my colleagues. They are still types yg hu ha hu ha jugak. But ade sedikit perbezaan la compared to my previous places. It's more Islamic. With this kind of surrounding yang kalau u solat lambat pun u rasa malu, this is definitely the best place for me to improve myself as a better Muslimah. Memangla semuanya bergantung pada diri sendiri. Tapi Allah swt dah tempatkan I kat tempat macam ni, apa lagi I nak? I pun tak tahu what will happen in future sbb my current workplace ni owner dia Pak arab, so I am really not sure where this uni is heading to in 5 years time at least. Apa yang boleh I buat, hanyalah berdoa semoga akan sentiasa dimurahkan rezeki. I mmg happy sangat kat sini. Wpun kami belum pindah to our own building (which donno when), n tak la secanggih other unis or colleges, but what matters most is tak de stress, all the tasks given to me are doable (thanks to my 8 years of teaching experience). I rasa sangat relax plak sbb dah biasa kerja teruk masa dekat previous uni dulu. Adala cabaran2 lain macam susah nak communicate dgn pak arab yang their english not that good and international students with macam2 ragam but still, being me, it is nothing to compare with the tasks that I used to do in my previous uni. Yang paling best, my working attire yang sangat sopan. At least I da x pakai tudung singkat2, baju ketat, jarang macam dulu lagi as sopan is the dress code. Most of female colleagues are comfortable wearing abaya or jubah. Lagi bets, pukul 5.30 semua dah get ready nak balik rumah..x de kerja lebih masa macam uni dulu. Terus balik and layan anak2 plak kat rumah.

I dah masuk 30. Kita kerja bukan untuk dunia semata. Untuk kumpul point kat akhirat jugak. So, I yakin tempat ni adalah yang terbaik. Fasal gaji, mmg tak kan pernah cukup. Tapi kalau kita bersyukur insyaAllah Allah swt akan berikan rezeki dalam bentuk yg lain. But at least, I bersyukur sbb gaji I mmg gaji master and lebih banyak from my previous place cuma maybe la tak sebanyak gaji lecturer lain di IPTA yg ade master atau di private uni yg gah mcm di Segi or Taylors. I boleh bagi my MIL yg jaga my kids an amount of money (which pada mulanya she refused to accept sbb die kata macam banyak I bagi) tapi for me itu pun sbnrnya tak cukup kalau nak dikirakan penat lelah my MIL jaga my kids. I boleh bayar kereta, boleh bagi my parent duit more than I gave them when I worked at my previous uni. Just to name a few la...and I skrg sempat saving lagi which dulu I mmg x sempat pun...so Alhamdulillah...gaji I kira macam lebih dari cukup. Cuma antara nak spend ke tak..and I choose to save my money. 

Dan Alhamdulillah, mungkin rezeki kami sekeluarga, my hubby dapat sambung master kat UPM part time and baru saja dinaikkan pangkat from engineer to senior engineer. So gaji die naik....Alhamdulillah..wpun duduk area Selangor ni high maintenance tp Alhamdulillah cukup semuanya wpun x de la mewah...janji hati senang kan...See... Allah swt tetap akan bagi rezeki dlm bentuk yang lain. Rezeki Allah ni luas. Apa lagi yang sy nak? .Alhamdulillah. I just couldn't ask for more.  Sy bersyukur dan akan sentiasa berdoa dimurahkan rezeki.. InsyaAllah

Thus, buat masa ni, I am happy with my current worklife walaupun sederhana tapi sangat happy. Mungkin in future kalau I dah terlalu rindu sangat nak ajar budak locals, I will send my CV ;)

Demons

 Susah2 I olls search for lagu tajuk 'kingdom come'...rupa2 nya the title is 'Demons'....syok lagu ni..my current fav...by Imagine Dragons

[Verse 1]
When the days are cold and the cards all fold
And the saints we see are all made of gold
When your dreams all fail and the ones we hail
Are the worst of all and the blood’s run stale

[Verse 2]
I want to hide the truth, I want to shelter you
But with the beast inside, There’s nowhere we can hide
No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come

[Chorus]
When you feel my heat, look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide, it’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close, it’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide, it’s where my demons hide

[Verse 3]
When the curtain’s call is the last of all
When the lights fade out, all the sinners crawl
So they dug your grave and the masquerade
Will come calling out at the mess you made

[Verse 4]
Don’t want to let you down, but I am hell bound
Though this is all for you don’t want to hide the truth
No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul, I need to let you go
Your eyes, they shine so bright, I want to save their life
I can't escape this now, unless you show me how

Jodoh

If only I could turn back time... I really like this song by Aqua. Cakap fasal 'if only I could turn back time', how I wish that I never met my ex-boyfriends, in fact, just wait for my jodoh to come. which is my husband now, Mr Epul =)

I believe, when we turn 13 yrs old (maybe earlier or later), kita akan mula terfikir soal jodoh. I x tau kalau budak2 sekarang lagi advance kot. Ye la..pengaruh TV and obviously when kita tengok how sweet parents kita are loving each other, kita wonder "hmm dengan sapa la agaknya kita akan kawen ye" sambil terbayang muka beberapa budak class atau jiran2 atau cousin2 haha. I did that haha. I bet semua orang pun ada. So, takut nanti tak de orang nak, jadi adalah yang start nak kapel-kapel dari skolah lagi, be it primary school or secondary school. so konon2 kalau da start kapel dari sekolah, rase secure la at least dah ada calon ;p

My sister skrg 17 years old and she started to have a boy friend when she was 15 / 16 years old. I mean yang macam serius relationship. Yang macam sampai parents tahu and parents pun suka cam tu. I pun mcm suka ngn budak tu sbnrnye..nampak padan la ngan my sis ;p . But I always remind my sis, whatever it is, study tetap no satu and jaga batas2 pergaulan. Perjalanan masih jauh, belum masuk U, belum kerja, etc.

I pulak? nampaknya mmg my sis lg hot kot haha. I don't know. Maybe different character. I mmg sgt pemalu with guys. My first love when I was about 22/ 23 years old. Lupa plak haha. But for sure, masa I final year, doing my degree in TESL. Masa skolah, bukan takde yang nak tapi ntah, x reti nak layan kot. I still remember, start masuk tadika KEMAS lagi, dah ada budak yg suka, yg suka plak yg hot2 tu, ketua klas la, ketua pengawas la tp like I said, I x reti n I x suka kot. I rase kalau I ni jenis melayan, mmg dah start kapel since tadika lg kot ;p. Paling my friends ingat mstila masa standard 4 smpai standard 6. I rase I pling cute mase ni la kot haha. mcm ramai sangat yg ngorat smpai kdg2 rase x nak p skolah. Tp yg paling extreme si S ni la. Dia siap ekor kita balik rumah. Siap canang satu skolah die suka kat kita smpai pernah satu hari smpai je skolah nak naik tangga pg klas masa darjah 5 tu, dia dah plan ngn geng2 die suruh jerit nama dia mase kita lalu...semua geng die berkumpul kat tangga tu n bila kita naik je tangga, diorg jerit kuat2 ramai2 nama budak S tu... ya Allah..malunya..serabut gila rasa..budak tu mmg popular kat skolah tp x tau la..kita mmg malu la n bukan taste kita kot..sian dia..dia tunggu kita smpai Form 1..4 tahun ok die ngorat kita tp x dpt jugak haha..siap upah posmen (kwn baik die) kasi surat kat kita sbb dah lain skolah bila form 1. bg mak kita baca, gelak ramai2 ngn parents hihi. kita punya malu kan ngan guys, ade skali die beranikan diri call kita nk ajak p school camp, tp bila kite jawab call die, boleh x kite x reply langsung die tanya haha..kite mmg x reti ok nk melayan benda2 cam ni ok..pastu ada jgk lg sorg yg agak ekstreme jugak minat kita smpai gf dia ajak kita jumpe sbb konon2 bf die suka kita pastu nak clash ngan die..pun satu skolah gak tu..I was like..what the? hisshhh.. ntah ape2..kecik2 dah nk bercinta bagai..so not me..

Tp..masa form 1, kat SMTPPTM (haha..tekala sendiri), ada sorg budak ni mmg popular sbb die baru balik from UK..mcm poyo je kan..tp okla plus die good looking n pastu pandai. Kita mula2 satu klas ngn dia, pastu lain klas plak..pas lain klas tu mcm da nmpak die nak try ngorat, kita terjumpa or tersisih je, dia akan tegur "hye ilyana"..pastu kalau muka kite x senyum mesti die tegur " ilyana, senyumla sikit" ..argghh serabut jugakla... tapi nampak dia ni mcm player sbb die x ramai kwn laki sangat, die bnyk kwn perempuan..n mase ni die tgh close dgn my good friend, D. But i was not sure what was their relationship. Tp mmg slalu berdua je la. Tp after 2 months skolah kat situ, I got an offer to study at SMART (mmg I nak sgt skolah kat sini). Mmg dilema nk pergi ke x, dah la dapat offer jadi pengawas plak kat skul lama ni. But, sbb mmg nk sgt skolah SMART, i decided to go. Bila my friend D dpt tau, she was so sad. Pastu die la yg cakap budak tu nama M suka kt aku n wanted me to be his gf. I was like..eh bukan D ngan si M ni ke. I guess D bgtau M i nak tukar SMART, so he passed a letter to me thru D. Dia ckp die sedih sgt sbb i nk tukar skool..die ckp please stay sbb die suka kt kite. Die nk kite jd gf die (eii..geli plak haha). Die kate da lame die nk bgtau tapi die cr mase yg sesuai...hadoii. I x ingt i reply ke x his letter tu tp one thing for sure I adelah sikit suka kt die since beginning nmpak die tp x de la smpai tahap nk kapel. Sbb die ni mcm gentleman sikit. Berani tegur. X de la kecoh satu skolah tapi takut nk tegur sendiri. So ... x de la jd ape2..sbb I tkr skolah.

Then, first day je masuk SMART, ade few students jgkla yg masuk lmbat cam kita termasuk sorg budak laki ni nama SS. Die ni mmg nampak notty, tapi cute. Anak org kaya. Dgr2 jgkla die suka kita tp x tau la betul ke x. Tp pernahla skali die bg kita satu small card yg die buat sendiri...die gabung nama die ngn nama kita..comel la jgk cara die..die selit card tu dlm buku kita. Tp again, kita wat x tau je sbb kita x reti n serabut la ngn bende2 cam ni haha. Sombong ke kita ni? ntah. pastu masa form 2, ada sorg akak senior ni mcm marah2 n nak serang kita dr luar klas. Bila risik2, rupanya bf die suka kat kita. ntah ape2 la. bf die pn kita x tau sape. Tp one thing for sure, I adala jgk few crush mase kat smart sbb students die banyak2 yg handsome, sah2 la pandai kalau skolah kat smart kan. I think I start rasa nk rasa mcm mana love is bile masuk form 4..tp time ni x de plak yg beria2 nk kat kita..sbb tau perangai kite camne n mase ni muke pn da start naik jerawat n again I still dengan perangai pemalu tu..so I mmg x pnah ade bf sama ade from primary school or secondary school.

to be continued.. ;p

I'll do my very best

Do u know that I am a friendship freak? I will do my best to take care of the friendship with any cliques that I have. I will try my best to make it for any appointments planned by my friends. I am also the one who loves to ask my friends for a meet up. I love all my good friends. I don't want to loose them. That's why it is important to meet once a while. I guess last month till this month, I was the happiest person ever as I managed to meet some of friends that I really miss and dying to be with. I miss to laugh, merepek, joking around, cathing-up life story and etc.

So, the first event I went was to my friend- Aishah's daughters' birthday party in Klang. Surprisingly, I did not expect to meet my ex-colleagues there. I went there with Naeem only as there was a contractor came by to fix our house's floor. I swear... if possible, i will avoid to go anywhere with my kid/kids alone for the time being. It is just not the right time yet. Naeem was so active, all I remembered I was chasing him inside and outside of Aishah's house. Fuhhh

 with my ex-colleagues...

 with fit and aisy

Then, I also managed to catch up with my crazy people, ecah, fit and yaya. We went to karaoke! haha... just for fun. I will never stop laughing when they are around especially with ecah.

 fit and ecah

 myself and ecah..just look at her pose..lol..she claimed herself as wawa zainal

 love my fit

 yaya..one of the best vocals for karaoke so far..haha

I also was very happy because I got to meet this bunch of wonderful ladies as we always plan to meet before. Hana, Dana and Kay. Hana is leaving to NZ, pursuing her PHD. I am so happy yet jealous. I really hope I will have the rezeki as well later as now, I need to give a way to my hubby who just got the rezeki to pursue his master, starting this month.

 we went to Tea Pot, SACC

 Hana with baby Nashwa, dana's daughter

 with pretty hana and cutie nashwa

 dana, nashwa n kay

thanx gurls for the time

I also managed to meet Mun n Fya...yeayy..my fav gurls. We went to Nandos SACC after work. See.. I sacrificed one evening just for these ladies. ala..one day je I came back late and mr hubby was ok at first, but he texted me claiming it's quite late already...haha..I reached home at 9.45 pm..sorry..promise will come home earlier next time.

 with fya.. i dont have the picture with mun in my camera

I also had a lunch date with yaya. We went to tesco extra shah alam. She is a good example of a true friend. She will try her best to make it for any meet up sessions.

 nadia @ yaya

And finally, I had a lunch date with fina and her son, Aidan. It's very nice of her. So far, she came to my workplace for quite a few times and having lunch together.

 fina and aidan

with cutie Aidan

Lots of love