Accepting tha fact of life

I miss my Fahri. Well, he is not going anywhere..it's just that the time, the situation, the circumstances that make me feel..Fahri is closer to his opah than myself. The thing is that...the routine that we have now is every morning, i will send Fahri to his Opah's house as early as at 7 am. Because nowadays, he refuses to sit properly, well-behaved in his carseat...so the only way to ensure his safetiness during our journey to Opah's house is by taking him out while he is still sleeping. Besides, our new house takes a half an hour to reach Opah's house. Fine. I am willing to. No problem. The problem is that...everytime we want to fetch him, i have to wait for my hubby first to reach home and fetch Fahri together. Like i mentioned earlier, it is because of the same reason...Fahri would not behave well if he is in the carseat. Thus, we need to fetch him together. And usually, hubby will just reach home the earliest at 7 pm.Then, we will take some time to perform Maghrib. Usually, we will reach Opah's house at 8 pm... and it depends..if Fahri had a good sleep on the afternoon...we will have more time to play n be with him..but if he is very active and restless, he goes to sleep at 9 pm! So, just imagine i have only one hour plus to talk, play n be with him...Last nite, when we fetched him, he didnt really want to hug me like he used to. He wanted his Opah more..and observing that, I was so sad..feel like crying...Even worse, I am gonna have my Annual Dinner tomorrow..and Staff Award on the morning...i m gonna loose my precious time with Fahri again...Fahri..Mama loves Fahri so much...How I wish i just could stay at home and take care of u, Fahri. sad.

Birthday saya, 13-12-11, 28 years old

Alhamdulillah...I am 28 yrs old and still alive =). I am very thankful that Allah s.w.t. has granted me with so many wonderful things in my life...hubby took me out for a pre-dinner, the night before my birthday. We ate at Station 1, Klang. We had our western cuisine. Fahri was so cheeky with the waitresses there...ikut perangai sape la ni hehe...

Hubby gave me a purse and dress, he bought them when he was in Jakarta. Then, he gave me a head scarf, clutch and one pair of heels...hehe..actually he did not know what to give me because he has already given me the watch that i wanted few months back. So, I said to him, why don't he just take me out to any shopping malls and let me choose things that i still don't have for the dinner this weekend. So, he said ok...tp i beli yg murah2 je la tp banyak items..hehe...

Hubby also did surprise me with this bouquet, teddy and a box of chocolates delivery. oh so sweet. i x sangka langsung die nak wat cam tu. soo not him hehe...thank u abg!

my signature

My fav. fragrance- Cacharel Promesse-- i nak this one back! dah almost 2 years i don't have you and i miss u so much. Gonna get u back!

p/s- i know! entry yg x patut langsung post! heeeee

Are we ready?

Fahri loves to swing his cradle (when he feels to). Is he ready for a lil bro / lil sis? haha..that's not the point. Are we (hubby and I) ready for a second one. I am lucky to have a hubby who has the same thought as I am when it comes to 'family planning'. We don't mind if Allah s.w.t. grants us with a second child sooner or later. We love kids. But, my doubt is, are we ready, financially, mentally and physically? It is good enough if u are granted with a well-behave (not so much of crankiness or drama) baby, i think everybody would not mind to have as many babies as they wish. However, as in my case, i will have all-day nausea/ sickness for almost 4 months (refer to Fahri's pregnancy experience), my husband and I shall think twice.

Who will take care of Fahri when he is in a stage of walking and needs me to guide him when the only thing I can do is lying on the bed from dawn till night?  Pity my hubby if he has to do all  this alone for 4 months. I know, i should have not worried too much on this issue as people said, 'Anak anugerah allah s.w.t'. We should just be thankful if there will another rezeki in future.

Yup. I would not mind actually. I love the idea of having two kids in any time sooner haha. we'll see...

wake up call

I just got my new Academic Calendar. OMG! I only have one week to be wasted on! I hate last-minute notification. Ok..be calm..there are tons of works that need to be completed.ok...new calendar, new hope, new resolution:

1) Question Exams- Both for Exam Bank & Students Kuwait (due 18th Nov.)
2) Clean & tidy up my desk
3) Update lecture notes
4) Update quizzes & assignments
5) xerox materials
6) Update files

dinner dress idea 2011

Me..company dinner 2009.theme: colours of the world. Our department represented the colour of Bulgaria if i'm not mistaken..haha...i hate the colour coordination that our department got! Yellow, green and red! euwww...haha..but managed to wear something simple on that night.

Last year's dinner, 2010. Theme: Glitz & Glamour (Glamour la sangat kan)..what i could remember was..i did not know what to wear but i wanted something in green..wanna match it with my green shawl (it was my reception shawl actually). so, i went to Shah Alam Mall and exploring all over the boutiques there..and I found this green caftan. I love it.

And this year, the theme is: Elegance White. Hmm...what should i wear..one thing i know..i want something simple but elegance. The dinner will be held on 17th December...still have one month plus to hunt for the dress. Anyhow, i have googled some dresses from the net and these are the ones that i think i am attracted to...

fuyyooo....i m not gonna wear as 'simple' as this obviously...but i like the idea of the fabric used and the 'kesempoian' nyer...

i like this one...not complicated.i think most of Muslimah prefer to wear something like this for dinner because it looks so decent. And this caftan looks so comfy to wear..

This one looks a lil bit complicated. Actually, i love the colour. But, it will make me look like a pregger

I love the one in blue so much. the material and the design...i just love it

don't u just love this one? smart kan..........gorgeous! especially in Black!

cantik

Cantik kan perempuan ni? sekian.terima kasih.

Happy 1st birthday, sayang mama Fahri!

Alhamdulillah...everything went well for Fahri's birthday party on last 29th October 2011. I would say 70% of what i have dreamt and planned for this event did come true...The theme was Safari. Fahri, hope u have enjoyed your special day. Enjoy the pitchas!

my pray for u, Iqram

This is Iqram Naufal. My nephew. My brother's second child. He is now admitted at Selayang Hospital due to bronchopneumonia. It is so sad to see a little boy like him has to suffer this disease. He is actually at the same age as Fahri. Ya Allah, i pray for a speedy recovery for this young boy. Panjangkan lah umur Iqram, kuatkan lah semangatnya. Kuatkan lah semangat my SIL and brother, Ya Allah. Semoga ada jalan nya...insyaAllah...ameen..ya Rabbal Allamin..

Lets discover what is Bronchopneumonia. I got this from http://www.tandurust.com/general-health/bronchopneumonia-remedy.html

What is Bronchopneumonia

Bronchopneumonia is a severe type of pneumonia that is characterized by multiple areas of isolated and acute consolidation that affects one or more pulmonary lobes. This condition is similar to ordinary pneumonia, except that this is a more severe variety whose treatment requires special attention than its ordinary counterpart.

Causes of Bronchopneumonia

Bronchopneumonia is closely associated with hospital-acquired pneumonia. In a person suffering from bronchopneumonia, bacteria invade the lungs, which results to an inflammatory immune response. This reaction of the lungs leads to the filling of the alveolar sacs with exudates. As a result, consolidation takes place: a condition wherein the air space in the lungs is replaced with fluids.

Symptoms of Bronchopneumonia

The following are the common bronchopneumonia symptoms:

• Fever: Any body temperature that goes above 37°C or 98.6°F is considered fever already. In bronchopneumonia, fever may be a symptom for having the disease especially if it is accompanied by other symptoms such as colds, coughing, and difficulty in breathing.
• Cough: Coughing is a natural reaction of the body to the presence of certain elements that may irritate the throat. Moreover, coughing is very important to keep the throat and airway clean and clear, thus making breathing easy. However, if coughing becomes persistent and especially if it is accompanied by mucus, then it is a sign of something more serious than ordinary coughing.
• A person with bronchopneumonia experiences frequent and excessive coughing, sometimes accompanied by mucus.
• Chest pain: Any form of chest pain should be a cause for concern for those affected by bronchopneumonia. Chest pain is frequent and associated with excessive coughing and difficulty in breathing.
  A person with bronchopneumonia easily becomes fatigued and experiences difficulty in breathing especially after doing some strenuous exercise or after playing.
• A person with bronchopneumonia not only experiences difficulty in breathing but also feels that there is also the sensation of not getting enough air. As a result, the person gasps for air frequently.

Treatments for Bronchopneumonia

The best bronchopneumonia treatment is to get some rest. This is to provide relief to the body and prevent it from getting fatigued, which is one of the common symptoms of the disease. On the other hand, one may prepare a home remedy by mixing lemon juice and honey to help soothe the throat and help the body expel the mucus that has concentrated in the lungs.

moving in to our new homey, baby!

the downlight in our living room

the wet kitchen

the dry kitchen

Arghhhh, i'm getting fed up with my broadband connection. I was trying to upload some pictures on our new crib since last Monday, for God's sake! but the broadband didn't want to cooperate with me. It's ok la...i will just rambling about it without any pitchas...yet. We have moved in to our new house since last Monday. It feels so good to live in your own house. It does feel different in some ways. You know, the excitement to decorate our house is not the same with decorating our rented house. You can drill the wall, paste the wall sticker, hang pictures, paint rooms whenever and where ever you wish to.

Till now, my husband and I haven't finished decorating our house yet. Even, we haven't finished putting up things to its place. It is tiring. How i wish Fahri could help us instead of aiming the stairs to be climbed on...haha. But, Alhamdulillah, Fahri seems so happy with his new house...he sleeps well at night.

Oh, can u see the pictures above? Suddenly, the uploading process completed. good. i love my kitchen cabinet..thank u mr. hubby for materializing our dreams. i love u. i love my family.

Happy one-year, sayang bucuk.

Birthday Boy-Fahri with his chickenpox

Your birthday takes us back to the day when you were born,
Like a little angel you opened your eyes, your beauty it adorned.
You looked at us and gave us a smile that was so divine,
Even in the darkness, your bright smile would shine.
Today when we look at you, the smile is still the same,
So are the lovely set of eyes, from heaven that came.
But even more than your physical beauty is your heart,
As for your mind it concerned, son you're ultrasmart!
Happy Birthday to our darling son.

-birthdaywishes-

He has been affected with chickenpox since last 2 days. Which i found it really bad. It is so painful to see him in the most uncomfortable condition. how i wish he would not have to face this. poor fahri. He supposed to celebrate his birthday cheerfully but it's ok...i would like to see this in a good way. This means he won't suffer from chickenpox after this. Get well soon, cayang mama.

my Fahri

Buah hati mama-cayang mama bucuk macam

Firstly, i would like to share that it's not easy to raise a baby/child/toddler.I just don't think that there is a mother who has no problem at all in raising her child. of course, the challenges will be different. As in my case, hmm..lets do some flashbacks on Fahri's progression:

Fahri- During Pregnancy

The day that i knew i was conceived was at 5-week of pregnancy. My hubby and I could not describe how happy we were on that time. Alhamdulillah...Allah S.W.T. gave us the opportunity and the rezeki. That was after one month of marriage. It was quite soon and I am blessed. Both of us always wanted a baby. We went to several clinics and met few gynae to double-check on it.

When my pregnancy reached 7 weeks (almost 2 months), i started to have all-day sickness, nausea. It lasted till i was 4-month. It was really bad.I almost laid down on my bed every day during that period.i couldn't get up from bed or else, i would be vomiting every single thing from my stomach.And even helpless, my routine on that time was only waiting for the signal to vomit. I couldn't have the energy to go to toilet and wash myself! Just imagine how my hubby felt at that time! but i am sure he understood my situation and condition. My work? Countless MCs and Emergency Leaves that i have applied. My classes? I am sure some students wished they were not in my class on that time due to the commitment that i couldn't give. But, of course, most of them understood my situation. Even it is more dangerous because i drive to work alone from Klang to Shah Alam and morning sickness attacked me almost every single morning...I used to vomit in my car, on my clothes, on the steering when the nausea attacked me without any signs. If i was lucky enough, i managed to grab some plastic bags for me to throw in.

At 5-month of pregnancy and onwards, i was getting better and better. Everything back to normal and pregnancy became one of the most wonderful miracles happened to me.All of us couldn't wait to see our first child.

On Labour

Alhamdulillah, i would say my labour experience was not as challenging as other women. I have a one hour pain of contraction before Fahri was born into this world. And he is the most charming baby ever!

During Confinement (45 days)

On the third day after he was born, he was affected by jaundice. I felt bad because I could not produce my milk on the first day he was born and people said it was the reason why he was affected. He was admitted back in the same polyclinic for one and a half day. Only God knows how miserable I was on that time. I couldn't stop crying thinking how he was in the hospital without me by his side as I have been advised just to get rest at home. The jaundice temperature was quite high. Once he was discharged from hospital, we tried so many ways to reduce or to cure the jaundice but it lasted quite long till he reached one month old. My milk supplement was flowing richly and I was so happy breastfeeding him on that time. The only thing that i regret was i did not really pay attention on the importance of breast pumping on that time. I was focusing more on direct breastfeeding.

On the other note, Fahri was not that easy to be soothed of. From day one he was born, he would cry and cranky most of the times. And even worse, he were screaming from all night long..and at times he stopped till dawn.

I started working (Fahri was 2-month old)

Like I said, he is a cry-baby. He would cry almost every day. Every night. I was not sure what was the problem. Like usual, people will say he might having kembung perut. Thus, there is no such thing as 'sleeping beauty' since the day he was born. Sometimes, it was really testing your patience as a zero-experienced mother. So, it lasted till he was 6 months (even until now but not as frequent as before).

On my breastfeeding issue, as i was not pumping my milk during confinement, i guess my milk supplement has decreased and i was out of stock of BF milk. My milk flow has completely stopped when Fahri reached 3 months.i felt so guilty. but life must goes on and the lesson learnt. Thus, to make sure that Fahri gets the best nutrition, i have to feed him a formula milk, Enfalac A+. The brand costs us an arm and a leg! We have to buy 5 to 6 packs of Enfalac A+ for a month. But it's ok..as long as he gets the best out of it.

On his cranky-ness

Like i said, Fahri has this mood-swing. He will easily get bored of things and get cranky. Most of the times, untill now, it is quite hard for him to get a peaceful sleep. He will get cranky in the middle of the night. And if he wanted something, he wanted it quick! For example, he wanted milk and if we were late giving him milk...he will scream and crying and then refuse to drink the milk..then we have to calm him...but it's very difficult to calm him down. At times, he would not want anything. Cradle, hugging, milk, changing diapers would not work! so, we have just to bare with that condition for half an hour to one hour. Or even in a car! Sometimes, he will just throw his tantrum out of nowhere. The conclusion is, it is quite difficult to pujuk him once he get cranky! And one more thing that i noticed recently is he can't stay in one house for a long duration..because we used to bring him out every day..so maybe he wanted to go out every day or else he will get cranky. I did cry few times when I was helpless, didn't know what to do to calm him down when he cried and screamed all over the way..and did not want to stop..

Fahri's slim body

Fahri is not a baby who has this chubby cheek and plum arms or legs. He is a small size and slim baby. He weighed at 3kg when he was born. And of course his weight is increasing monthly but it's not that impressive. He did not drink that much milk since he was born. He would stop when he thinks he had enough. He is not a baby who will drink numbers of ounces each time he's been fed. We can't force him to drink more if he doesn't want to. But of course, he drinks enough..but not as much as other babies at his age. Now, as he already been introduced to weaning/ solid food..same thing happened. He will just eat if he wants too. Don't force him. Of course, we have to be very patient to pujuk him to eat...have to follow and chase him for almost one hour to feed him with a small bowl of porridge or puree! That's Fahri. His toys or his business are more important than the food! Recently, i noticed that he loves bread more than porridge. But..i believe, porridge will give him more balanced nutrition than the bread does. Now, at 11-month-old, he just weigh at 8 kg..

On his development
Reaching one year old very soon, he still couldn't walk. But he manages to climb chairs or tables and stand. I would say he is quite slow in terms of movement development. He also just have one tooth compared to other kids at his age who have 4 to 8 teeth.

After all.....

He is still my Fahri. my son. remember, how excited my hubby and I were when we get to know that i was pregnant? We should bare with him..his behavior, his cranky, his tantrum, his slimness. He is my baby. my kid. I don't care if he is not as chubby or plum as other people's kids. I don't care if he throws his tantrum for hours non stop. I don't care if i have to be awake all night long and could not sleep to hug him. I don't care if i have to spend more than what i can earn to pay his medical bills and buy his milk and pampers. I don't care if his progression is not as fast as other kids. All I care is...I want him to be as healthy as possible, active, smart, kind, and anak yang soleh. And one thing for sure that i know and care is...he is one kind-hearted kid. And I am sure he is more than that. InsyaAllah...

Fahri, you're turning ONE very very soon. Mama doesn't care what people say about u. In fact, you are my sweet-heart, my life. Mama will try to improve the motherhood/ parenthood skill as mama is still learning. Mama loves u so much.Full stop.

too bad

i just called my mom, was asking her whether she, my dad and my lil sis could make it to Fahri's birthday. I am planning the birthday and so far, I have two dates in mind; Oct 2nd or Oct 9th. Unfortunately, the can't make it for any of the dates because my lil sis is going to sit for her PMR examination on the 4th of October. I am so sad that they can't make it. It won't be the same without them.huhu.tak best nyer.

like no other

do u want to know how do I feel right now? I feel so relieved. Huge relief. of course, the cause is none other than the submission of my thesis or Research Report ( as I am taking 10 course-works + 1 research report). Even though it is only for examination, my body and brain are lighter and more relaxed now. Syukur Alhamdulillah...let's just hoping for the best on the result. Hopefully, i won't have so much corrections to be made on.

I am so happy to not to think of that thesis again (temporarily before the result is out). I could happily have a thought on my husband, son, family, work (not so happy) and other things that I have to freeze on a little while. Hope everything goes well. InsyaAllah.

I have so many things to do in mind. I want to be more responsible mother to Fahri. I want to cook and prepare more solid food for him. He seems not to have the appetite to eat that much compared to other babies at his age. I would love to do some 'try and error' on experimenting preparing solid foods and hoping that i will get the exact type of solid food that he wants. I want him to be chubbier or at least chubbier than now. I love to see chubby babies. Till then. and oh yeah...i just bought a book ..'Vintage Dream'..can't wait to explore it..

my favourite song- Destiny by Little Lover

Anata wo kanjitanara
Omoiga motto todoitara
Namida ga afurerukoto
Tatta ima omoidasetano

Kokoro karano sain ga midareteru
Ryoukyoku ni yureru jibun wo warau
Tsujitsuma sae awaserarenakute
Sugite yuku hibi wo hodoiteita

Ima ga kokode mawaridasu

Chikazuku hodo ni tooku
Umi no youni yurerukedo
Anata mo oyoiderunara
Kitto aeru unmei no toki ni

Fall in... DESTINY...

Yubi to yubi wo karamasete utau
Kono inochi no morosa utsukushisa wo

Kono sekai wa owattemo

Anata wo omoidaseba
Anata wo motto kanjireba
Namida ga afurerukoto
Zutto zutto shitteitanoni

Aishiteru
Aishiteiru
Tada sono kotoba dakede

Chikazuku hodo ni tooku
Omoi wa mada yurerukedo
Anata wo dakishimereba
Anata wo motto kanjireba
Namida ga afurerukoto
Zutto zutto shitteitanonitle

p/s: i do not really know the meaning of the words in this song, yet...it inspires me tremendously since 2001...it has been 10 years now.....same song will be played in my car's CD playlist.... kuasa Allah s.w.t. jugak...

bismillahhirrahmannirrahhim

please pray for me folks!

catch up with sha

fahri acted cool next to adelea

try to make friend with adel

kantoi ngan mama!

Empire, Subang..us..missing the moment being vain in washroom

that was the first time i went out alone with fahri..i mean..drive all by myself without hubby going to a shopping mall!..phew..gelabah ayam jugakla...huhu..just imagine..i am afraid to use escalator if fahri is his stroller..no no! i takut..i rather to take a lift! penakut betul i!..mama yg takut! actually..i am afraid stroller tu jatuh or tyre die tersekat ke mase kat escalator..freaky me! and sha..she is so opposite of me!

Eid Fitri 2011

first raya...fahri with his baju melayu sew by nenek..thank u nenek!..sampin x de sbb fahri slim sgt ;)

with my luvly sista!

second raya...he was soo excited from one house to another!

Syukur Alhamdulillah...everything is wonderful...next year will be Perak's turn since this year's raya ..we were enjoying our time to the max at Kuantan and Kelantan b4 heading to Perak on the 3rd raya...