last wekend

Last Saturday, hubby went to work. So I spent the day with my kids alone. You know kids at the age of 3 +++ and 1 +++.. super lasak. they are the most loving bro in one minute and cause to fight minutes after that. Naeem pulak skrg dah pandai tarik tangan kita if dia nak apa-apa. memang comel. tapi kadang2 penat jugak..paling penat kalau dia suruh bukakkan pagar kat tangga...sayangg oiiisah-sah la papa pasang pagar tu so that you can not climb the stairs.. but bukan main mengamuk dia kalau kita tak bukakan pagar tu..eiiii geram ngan si naeem ni tau. selalu kene picit pipi, montot, perut ngan mama..picit geram sayang nama dia. kadang2 kalau mama dah tau yang dia nak suruh buka pagar tangga, mama buat tak layan je..lama2 dia give up jugak and cari benda lain nak main..

Everything went ok as usual..I don't really have problem if my hubby needs to go to work if he gets back early.. i mean jangan la balik lambat sangat..it will be so tiring if I have to take care of them all day long. Because we can choose the time to work on weekend kan..if outstation then I do understand lah. Usually i do feel tired around 6 pm but still bearable but last Saturday. I don't know why..hubby reached home at 6.30 pm and again, Naeem was about to ask me open the stairs' gate. And I was so tired. I just opened the gate for him and let him climbed the stairs without following him. When hubby entered our house, I told hubby "can you chase Naeem..he is going upstairs".. he asked "what..apa dia"..looked like he didn't hear me well. Idon't know why and without realizing it, I cried and repeated "Naeem..he is upstairs.. I just feel so tired to chase him..can you please go and chase him?" I cried. Being him, he doesn't like to see me crying. He would feel offended. I really didn't mean it. I am sorry dear. I was really not sure why I need to cry. Usually I can control the situation. He went upstairs and said "why do you have to cry..." I cried more because I just don't get it why do I have to cry lol..

Then, I felt so dizzy. Felt nausea. And a sudden back pain. Yes. It feels like a pregnancy symptom. But it just can't be. We are planning and taking some good actions about it. So, nak cerita. Last weekend, the symptoms were exactly like when I got pregnant. The peak was last night when we were about to go out to a pasar malam, boleh pulak tetiba macam nak buang air besar la, nak muntah la... pening and asyik baring jangan cakap la...mmg saiko..tengok naeem asyik nangis..pk..klau i pregnant kesian naeem and fahri dah la naeem manja lagi..fahri pun manja lagi! not yet..tapi tak kan pernah menolak kekuasaan dan rezeki Allah swt. All this while when the 'time' comes, I never felt this way. When my period comes, usually I will just have back pain without having all those nausea symptoms.. that's why I was worried.

Tup tup..this morning..when I woke up, the 'flesh' showed it all. I am not pregnant. I am just a psycho mother because this is the first time I am going through 'pregnancy symptoms' when my period comes. But why? Why the sudden change? And until now, I still feel a lil bit of nausea, loya, tak lalu makan. why? tanda2 penuaan ke..erkkk..well, let's see..if my next period pun cam ni jgk, i think i need to consult a doctor. And I really need a window shopping now.

rasanya budak ni tak puas manja lagi kot...