sweet like honey!: My ups and downs in 2013

Ok..this is gonna be a long post. Oh...today is the end day of 2013? So..what is our biggest achievement? Did everything goes accordingly to our plan? Do we achieve our goals? Well, for me, 2013 is a year where I have learned so many things about life. Unexpectedly. We only plan, Allah swt is the best planner and He knows what is the best for His servants. Alhamdulillah for all the ups and downs moments happened in my life throughout 2013. It surely made me who I am today, becoming a better person. Syukran.

January- July 2013: New working experience with SESS

I have been transited to SESS (School of Social Sciences) from CFS (Foundation Studies) with 3 other colleagues (tika, Mun and Fia) since November 2012. I have been with CFS for more than 3 years. It was really a sad moment for me as I am so closed with all my officemates in CFS. However, I took the offer for the sake of developing my teaching skills and challenging myself to become a better academician. My heart was slowly becoming empty as I was leaving CFS. I gained different set of teaching experience in SESS. From teaching proficiency subjects to content subjects. From teaching English to students from various courses, to only TESL students. It is challenging! I have been assigned to teach core subjects like Structure of English, Varieties of English, Pedagogy of Teaching and few other TESL subjects. I enjoyed my teaching as I am able to experience teaching both proficiency and content subjects. It was really exciting to see so many young talents are investing their money, energy and time just for the sake of chasing their dream to become a future educator. I love the feeling of sharing my knowledge and excitement on how to draw a tree diagram in a Structure class with my students. I miss that. huhu. I also experienced going to schools in Shah Alam area to observe my practicum students. It was definitely priceless experience for me even though it was quite tiring to travel here and there. In SESS, I also took challenge from my ex-boss to be the Emcee for one of the major events of the university, which is the launching of SESS. I will remember this for the rest of my life as I have been working together with Kak Zaila, another senior yet gorgeous TESL lecturer as the emcee of the event. Kak Zaila has taught me a lot of things, not only about being a good emcee but also about life. So many things. I miss her. I also got to know senior lecturers from SESS who have shared so much knowledge.

Then, Mun gave us a shock news that she resigned. I started to feel a lil bit empty. Shortly few weeks after that, my other fav girl, Fia decided to do the same thing. I felt so empty. They are my best girls in SESS besides Tika. We were transited together. Trying to accept the fact that these sweet hearts are leaving me, I felt hopeless. My life was only about students. No more purpose coming to work. With lots of negativity from working environment, I just don't have the heart anymore there. Receiving the news that most of the lecturers need to go for outstation teaching on the following semester, which means you're gonna have less weekends with your loved ones. I felt so stress with so many works to do in the making added with less time with family, I made a big decision in my life. After consulting my hubby, I sent my resignation letter on the 1st April 2013 for 3 months notice. Most of my colleagues were hard to believe my decision. But I believe, with hardworks, effort, doa and tawakal, there is a better place out there. Just imagine, I resigned with 0% of knowing my chances to get a new job. I was taking a big risk. But, I believe in Allah swt. My intention is none other than to be a better person, in and out, which I couldn't have that in SESS. I was gambling with my luck as some people couldn't believe that I was just letting go the reputation that have been built all these years just like that. So, my last day was on the 1st July 2013.

My precious experience being an emcee together with Kak Zaila

moment with my Btesl students in a mass lecture. Spot me?

some of great lecturers that I know

observing my students doing their teaching practicum in schools

met great lecturers

While I was still working with SESS, in March, my two sons were affecting by HFMD (hand feet mouth disease) at the same time! Poor them...they were quarantined for one week and I took one week leave to take care of them. Thank u mom, dad and sis who came to help. I've learned a lot on kids hygiene after that.

Poor kids on quarantine

I lost two sweet hearts in march and April and taking my heart with them ;)

Some sweet thought from my students as they knew that I am leaving the university. I miss these students of course. I miss teaching good local students.

My resignation also means I have to put a distance with other close friends. More to soul sisters. They also resigned and now leave a better life. Only Nadia is still there. But Alhamdulillah, we always try our best to keep in touch and organize a meet-up.

July - September 2013: Full time house wife

This term was actually one of the most difficult time in my life. I have no job. I have no income. I have no money to give to my parents and my parents in law. No more shopping. No more outing. I lost one source of social life. I even cracked my right hand when I fell down on the street. I suffered for one week. I felt lonely staying at home, just talking to my kids. I hunted for numbers of jobs and failed. I got few job offers but everything was just not right for me. I cried for million times. I felt so hopeless. But I never gave up. I believe in His rezeki for me.

On the bright side, I become more positive in life. I learned the hard ways. I remember queuing in lines to wait for a turn to get our bubur lambuk for berbuka puasa during Ramadhan. I remember how to become more patient with my kids. I remember I would find anything from the fridge that I can use to cook. I remember how I just recycled my baju for Raya just to see my kids get new cloth. Nobody knows except for my hubby. He never failed to give me hope, encouraged me to get better job. He is truly an inspiration. Thank u Abg. He believes in me so deeply. My relationship with Allah swt becomes closer. I communicate with him every single day. I recited Al Quran more as I have more time. I took a better care of my solat. I regret for not being grateful with what I had previously. This three months has learnt me so many life lessons. Thank you Allah swt. I spent all days with my two lovely boys. I enjoyed everything that I do with them eventhough I have lost my temper at times. I wanted them to be the best person ever, duniawi and ukhrawi. I miss cooking early in the morning, waiting for the boys to wake up, play with them all day long, play hide and seek, sleep with them..ok it was the best 3 months ever. I also got to develop my cooking skill as I tried so many menus.

With that hand, I still joined my hubby's family to Sunway Lagoon ;)

My nyawa..

One of my best menu- Ikan Patin masak tempoyak

I have more quality times with my loved ones

I also couldn't believe that I actually manage to host a makan-makan event. I am so proud of myself. I managed to host two makan2 events without anyone's help. Just me and myself. I cooked everything from the main dish to the desert! wahh.. I still couldn't believe I have done that!

Organized small jamuan raya on my own!

September 2013 onwards- New Job! A better life!

I received a call from Mediu one day when I was attending an interview with Utar (after numbers of interviews). I just grabbed all the opportunities. I went for the interview in Masalam and was hoping to get it as it is located in Shah Alam! I got the second interview on the next day. Alhamdulillah, I nailed it. I have been offered to be one of the lecturers. It is totally a new experience, new environment. I learn on how to conduct an online class, I have no local students, I learn how to deal with students from Somalia, Nigeria, Middle Eat, Syria. Muslim countries. Everything here makes me become closer with the Creator, Allah swt. The dress code, friends, students, everything is leading me to Him. Till I realize, this is my doa all this while. Remember that I said when I resigned, I believe there is a better place for me. This is definitely a better place. There are challeges. But are doable still. As long as it does not take away my precious time with my loved ones, then I have nothing to complain. My company also is very much concerned with spiritual side of its staff development by sending us to Islamic talk. I feel so blessed to work here. I managed to go to few Islamic talks for free. Alhamdulillah. I am slowly doing a hijrah towards my fashion sense. InsyaAllah.

My online class

My so-not-local students

My new colleagues

Down to memory lane, 2013 also taught us a huge lesson when my house in Kuantan was affected by flood. I was dam worried about my family in Kuantan. It was one of the nerve-wrecking moments in 2013. Alhamdulillah, everything ended up well. But this put a remarkable mark that we need to be ready with any possibilities in future as Allah's will is the most mighty. Allahuakhbar.

flood in my parents' house

November 2013- Edanee!

I would also like to remember 2013 as one of the happiest moment in my life as I am moving a step forward as an online business woman. Even though it is still new and small, but I finally have the gut to share my passion with people out there! =)